Hi Kathy,

What a question.

We can all see by the postings that there are many different views as to friendship.

Friendship at Adland should be built on a patient and respectful basis.

I long ago accepted that if I was to be the most trusting of people then i must accept that occassionaly I'm gonna get hurt.  I don't want to spend my life being suspicious and mistrustful. That's not in my nature. I really like people, I like to be liked and it hurts if I'm not, that's the truth. However I have lived long enough to have learnt certain codes and lessons and I use them. I use my knowledge of language and the human mind to evaluate matters before going in with both feet.

I respond to people who show an equal respect for me and who want to share resources no matter how small. If I can help I will.

Earlier this year I was trying to help somebody at Adland with a real and painful problem, several posts later I had technical problems and personal challenges and by time I got back to offer further help I had been blocked. Despite emails offering to continue I was ignored, that hurt. People judge and act too quickly.

Instead of getting into a slanging match with someone who disagrees send a straight reply saying that you disagree and that although you respect the other persons right to hold a belief you are unlikely to change your mind and certainly won't if you are bullied.

If something genuinely threatens others within the community tell a respected person and seek a few views before acting, but then dont be frightened to do so. We are wise when we've consulted in numbers.

Finally I would like to point out that several of the problems with Adland friends has been caused by national and international differences in values and lifestyle. I have seen members totally misread a posting and fly into a rage when they think that their faith, their family or something else important has been attacked when all of the time they were actually in agreement.

Lets have respect, patience and above all understanding. These things lead to friendship (and even love).

Roger

Hi Kathy. This is a good topic but mostly stirs emotions that are
not always good.

There are a number of different kinds of friendship being
Casual, business, and true friendship. Some could probably
break these down to many catagories and it is a kind of
unwritten law among people.

The closeness of the friendship is dependent on the
ability and maturity of the person. I would like
to think that everyone has the Maturity and
the understanding to only provide one
kind. The one based on unconditional
love for the whole being, not just
a person to use for a while and drop
like a rotten egg when they are done.

The unenlightened individual does not
understand this kind of friend and
sometimes seek to do harm.

Envy, and other negative emotions
come into play. The important thing
to me is "how may I help this person?"

For me it goes beyond the petty
Soap opera style encounter but
becomes meaningful and beautiful.

I allow people to use me at times
because I see a way to help them
gain more understanding. No one
can hurt me without my permission.

I have nothing to prove, nothing I want
and nothing to loose. Just being alive
from one day to the next I consider
a miracle.

In order for me to learn and mature
spiritually, I have to make contact
with other people. That is the most
anyone can hope for in a friend.

I have only one kind of friend.
People I love for who they are.

Robert

The greatest power known to man is that of unconditional love. Through the ages, mystics, sages, singers and poets have all expressed the ballad and call to love. As humans, we have searched endlessly for the experience of love through the outer senses. Great nations have come and gone under the guise of love for their people. Religions have flourished and perished while claiming the true path to love. We, the people of this planet, may have missed the simplicity of unconditional love. . . Simply stated, unconditional love is an unlimited way of being. We are without any limit to our thoughts and feelings in life and can create any reality we choose to focus our attention upon. There are infinite imaginative possibilities when we allow the freedom to go beyond our perceived limits. If we can dream it, we can build it. Life, through unconditional love, is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight. - Harold W. Becker, from Unconditional Love - Freeing the Angel Within Why Unconditional Love? Unconditional Love is a dynamic and powerful energy that lifts us through the most difficult times. It is available at any moment by turning our attention to it and using its wonderful potential to free us from our limitations. It requires practice and intent to allow this energy to fully permeate our daily experience. It begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be. In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us! That which we send out, returns to us in greater measure. If you have not thought about how you feel towards yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally, or spiritually, we invite you to do so now. Begin the journey that changes everything. Begin the journey of unconditional love... Kathy Hamilton/simikathy.com

Hatred is often envy in disguise. Envy knows no gratitude. Envy cannot be pacified. These statements describe a few of Envy's "traits". Envy is characterized by the Machiavellian machinations of the internally weak, self-loathing, unduly proud and peasant minded. Enviers cross all social, economic, educational and professional boundaries. Envy is found among the greats in history, laborers, elite, siblings, co-workers, "friends", individuals, academia, groups, peoples and nations. Biblical examples demonstrate Envy’s deceptive, merciless, and malignant personality. Centuries later, secular scholars and philosophers (e.g., Aristotle and Plato) discovered Envy's true nature the will to completely destroy the envied. Due to Envy’s deeply deceptive nature, too often the envied is unaware of being envied; and so, are at a genuine loss as to why a person or group would vent "inexplicable" cruelty on them. Exacerbating matters, the cruelty is regularly denied directly and indirectly by the envier. This renders witnesses to the envy dynamic ignorant to the truth as well. Kathy Hamilton/simikathy.com Enviers often seize the very questioning of their actions to malign the envied; thereby laying the foundation for wider, subtle and blatant, misrepresentation, accusation, and attacks upon the reasoning faculties and character of the envied. The envier’s intent is always to destroy the envied, to the envier’s comfort and delight, since the envied inadvertently aggravates the enviers deepest inferiority feelings.

Just like we chatted about the other day! People who have an issue with others should address that person rather than go behind their back to try and stab them! Using others to do their dirty work is about as low as you can go. The BIG problem with most people is they don't have a set of B**** to either ignore a person that don't care for or confront that person with their issues.

Freindship involves the simplest of things like COMMUNICATION! It is no different that your relationships! if you don't talk about issues directly to the person you need to, it nevers gets resloved. Be up front and everyone wins!

My Best! Tom