This is a tough one. Can you be friends unconditionally?

No.

Respect and courtesy, however, are unconditional.

But I can't say that without getting into a definition of sorts, so please bear with me.

In order to be friends with someone, there has to be an emotional bond on some level. You may just like the same TV shows, or you may experience genuine joy simply being in each other's company. When you're at that point, you must accept them unconditionally, because you have accepted them on the conditions of your commonalities.

From this perspective, it's similar to saying "I love you, I just don't like you" (somethng my sister used to say when we got into territorial disputes about the bathroom or the TV remote).

So you can care for someone unconditionally, but there is still some element that must be present in order for the friendship to persist.

Are Adlanders truly "friends," then? I doubt it for most, because it's a business network. We're all "friends" in the sense that we have a common interest: business. Some of us become more meaningful friends because of deeper commonalities: the desire to help one another, or a mutual love of cheesy jokes, for example.

When there is dissent it usually comes down to a disagreement. Whether the friendship waivers or not depends on whether the points of common interest and emotional considerations outweigh the damage caused by the disagreement.

We may remember the disagreement I had with Jerome earlier this year over same-sex marriage. We disagreed -- flat out. But here's the thing...we were, and I believe still are, worth more to each other as friends. We respect each other and share a common interest.

Now, we're not close enough as friends that I'm going to lend him my car for the weekend...I simply don't know him well enough for that. But if he needs me to check out his website and spend some time making sure the links work, no problem. I have friends like this in "real life" too...guys I wouldn't lend a dime to, but who I'll help move their furniture. We're not close enough for me to call them my "unconditional friends," but I still consider them friends and they have my love and respect (until they steel my stereo...then all bets are off).

Good morming Kathy with a K. Boy to fix this ?? one would have to be able to walk on water I am affraid.!! There are many kinda of friends. But a real true friend are but one or two in ones life I am affraid. But here one has to be respectful of others. To be honest and caring. Not many are as caring as you kathy. We all have diffrent mind sets.Not all people thing as we North Americans do iether, That doesn't mean they are wrong and we are rite by any means for sure?? But if there is respect hostesty and caring we can all get along. But that doesn't mean we are friends in the true sence of the word. We sure can be friendly towards one another. On the internet there really isn't away to truly get to know a person. We can all say things and some pretend????  Greed is another thing!!!! there are those that fly under false colours. If ones meets eye to eye we can get a feeling from people as to wheather they are to trusted and are friendly and caring ect?? We can from a bond with them if we so wish?  We know weather or not we like them pretty quick meeting face to face. But if we can truly have respect for one another that would be great. I think the word friend gets used really losely .!!! It is like calling some one buddy?? It is a word . But would rather be called that ,than the north end of a horse headin south!!! We have business friends ,social friends ect . But as I have said one or two real friends in a life time is great. I was told one time that a friend is like a hand full of wheat. You blow away the chaf and what is left is what you either except as your friend or let them go.? My two cents worth.Have agreat day every one and remember to keep your dreams out in front of you. Respectfully Ron :)

Hello Kathy,

You have chosen an excellent topic here.  Friendship.  Where would we be without it?  To have a friend, to be a friend.  It is sometimes difficult to know which is the greater pleasure.

John S, Steve and Ron have brought out some excellent points.  There is, of course, no place for envy in friendship - at any level.  Respect is an essential ingredient of friendship at any level - whether it be true friendship that lasts forever, or just a "close acquaintanceship".  Without the element of respect, the relationship can only be one mutual using each other. 

And then there is that little word "caring".  Friends need to be cherished and cared for - for who they are and not who you would like them to be.

And, to me, this applies equally to friendships made on the internet as it does to life "face to face".

If you want a friend - then you must be a friend too.

Sincerely,
Jenny

Hi Kathy, I like Marty's version, Glo