Hi John and Luella, As ever - an interesting and thought provoking forum topic. You really are an extraordinary pair! How do you do it?!! I particularly like your comment John: ----------------------------------------------- "Everyone is good at one thing the trick is finding that one small thing you can build on. We often go through life never realizing what our one talent actually is and often it really does take a friend to point this out, so do listen when they say, “You’re really good at this or that aren’t you”." ------------------------------------------------ It is so true. Often we spend years following paths that are expected of us by ourselves, our families, society or whatever - only to find that we are a lot happier doing something completely different. In my case this has been 200 per cent true. And it took a few friends saying exactly the same thing to give me the nudge I needed. And remembering some of Verina's list of reasons why people dont always help you on your way is another important factor in not getting demoralised, when it takes a little longer than you expect. And if George Bernard Shaw is to be believed, then I am more honorable that I realized!LOL Saludos Jenny

Hi All. I felt I just had to respond to Johns post about self esteem, and his question about how can reading do anything about a person's belief in themself. John, my dear friend. So many of us have been where you were. Our whole lives it seems get tied into our jobs. Our self esteem (especially those from the older generation such as ourselves) is often tied into what we do for a living. People ask us, "so, what do you do for a living"?, and if the answer is Managerial, or some sort of important sounding job will be perceived differently than if it's a more menial and less important job (like laborer or trash man). The problem with that is the fact that a job is transitory (especially these days) and likely the worst thing we can hang our self esteem on! Self esteem should be based on who we are, not what we do for a living. Now we look at self esteem itself. How is it developed? and when is it developed? Our self esteem is developed well before that first job, in fact I know that it's begun to develop before we are out of diapers. Not all of us are so fortunate to have all the right teachers or role models to develop strong and secure self esteem's, others are so fortunate. Those with a healthy self esteem will tend to gravitate towards success in life, mostly because they believe they deserve it. That's what self esteem is really..one's belief in themself, whether positive or negative (good or bad) It brings into play another belief of mine in the Law of Attraction, but that's for another forum. So let me summarize simply by saying our self esteem is developed particularly early in life, but also reinforced over our lifetime. Is it changeable though? Certainly. Anyone can simply change their mind about anything, why not about how they view themselves? Books and lectures and sharing with others who are positive about themselves help us to reprogram that negative belief system if we work at it. A belief system is so deeply ingrained, and been in place often so long, that naturally it's going to be difficult to change, but through discipline and willpower, it is possible! I hope that I've helped you John, and anyone else struggling with self esteem. John I value you as a person, I see you as having worth, and I know we will be appreciating your participation in WOSAT. Read all you can on the subject, believe that you can change, and you will. Warmest regards, Tim

Hi again Luella & John, I read the two stories you wrote, Luella, what an incredible person you are. I use to have anxiety attacks on my way home from work sometimes too, I felt I was going to faint but deep breathing helped me whilst driving. As far as the second story goes, well you had me in tears, you seem so jovial at the Wosat meetings its hard to believe your the same person. If I may reply to Tim here as well. Thanks for your post Tim. Yes I was born with depression and became an introvert at an early age, I had to learn to play by myself and not to talk unless I was spoken to first, I am still shy of meeting people even at this age. Being with Adland has opened me up alot and being with Wosat has really helped my self-esteem. Thank you. John.

Hi John Stowell You're gonna be alright, mate. I was very shy as a young bloke but as I've grown older I'm still a bit reserved but hide it by opening up at every opportunity. Even if it's just rubbish coming out which is fairly frequent :-). Just be yourself and use that dry humour of yours, you don't have to be an absolute chatterbox. Also people really like someone who is a good listener and sypathetic towards their problems. Cheers, John

Hi John Stowell, John Elliott here, You asked how reading could change peoples lives so easily, well my friend the answer is fairly simple. By reading, especially of how others have overcome their own burdens, anxiety's and afflictions you may become better educated in helping yourself to cope or overcome your own problems. You are not alone and we are all here to help you achieve your own self-esteem through friendship and support, and you will always be most welcome to post within our forums. I spent over 10 years being classed as unemployable through a low education background, my own self-esteem plummited like a rock off a cliff. My self confidence fell into non-existance. Then one day I happened on a college course, not motivational or anything to do with self-esteem. It was actually a Toymaking design course, and immediately I was an outcast, because the course itself was intended solely for women and run by women, and I met lots of opposition at first being the only man on the course. I stuck with it, did my assignments and gained the respect of the group through hard work and dedication. By my second year the women were actually encouraging and pushing me to greater achievements, I passed the course with distinctions and credits, something only attained by one person before me in all the years it had been running. Yes my self-esteem building was a long slow process it didn't happen overnight, and with each successful assignment it grew even more. My confidence grew so much I took other courses, and gained more success's. This was way back in 1989 and I am still building on those foundations today, so my friend I really know exactly how you are feeling, but do take heart. If an undereducated son of a miner, and single parent for the past 10 years, can rebuild his confidence and self-esteem, through the power of words, education and hard work on my part, then I know you too can do it, with the right encouragement and friendship from the many wonderful people here within this community, its not all about building a business, its about helping others to aspire and fulfill their own potentials. You really are not alone. The power of the humble word can help you to become an achiever as you walk your path through life. Love and Peace John Elliott aka Oaky Wood and Luella May