Affirmation can = Respect, which means, instead of always getting my thoughts or point across about what you said, I "affirm" "what" you just said. When you then notice that indeed I did "hear" and "perceive" what the spirit of your words meant "to you," I have given you Respect and gained yours! Now you may be more willing to "hear" me since you now believe I truly understand you!
Respect is Blue.....and Love is Pink!
Just as talking, to men is an opprotunity to exchange information and also to provide answers, while to a woman it is an opportunity to connect emotionally, women more often are seeking Love by what they say and do, and men have a inbred desire and need for Respect.
This has been tested by people! Women have marveled after exchanging all their efforts in and Giving Respect to their husbands, for example, letting him hear us say that we recognize and appreicate his day after day efforts to work endlessly and hard at his job in order than I and the kids can have a good home and security. Men are born with the Provider instinct and when we women only show him recognition that he's been gone all day while "I" have had to deal with all the house issues and kids, and maybe a job too, this only steals his much needed Respect for being a good Provider. Men and Women are wired differently.
When a woman cries and nags or complains that hubby is too busy for her or even complains that he isn't doing enough at home, etc., it's not that she can't handle her share, it's that she's wanting and needing "Love" from him. So he provides reasonable and good answers for her problems at home. Wrong! She doesn't want answers; she wants to know you love her.
We all know that women are emotional and men are reasonable in the larger magin. We speak 2 different languages and "Respond" also from our own language. This is where the meaning comes in about how S_X seems to be love to a man while emotional closeness is to a woman. We are wired differently. Respect is Love to a man and Emotional Connectedness is Love to a woman.
From ChristianCounceling,
Kim
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