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Jean Marie

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Re: What about Respect in Making a Difference?
2/8/2009 3:40:18 PM

Dearest Roger-

At times, I often get a bit carried away when the subject matter is close to my heart, and this one is.

If I may relay a true story....

As many here are aware, I spend countless hours working in my career field and spend every other waking moment promoting breast cancer awareness.

My team, the 3Day Dancers, and I spend countless hours supporting women in treatment, attending fundraisers, and walking great distances in breast cancer awareness events.

Many of us are survivors or co-survivors (a co-survivor is a first-degree relative of a breast cancer victim).

We recently we at a fundraiser outside a national discount chain store, when a man approached us.  He was a stranger, unknown by anyone on the team.  He felt it his "duty" to tell us that we were "wrong" for trying to raise funds for breast cancer research.  He continued to relay how it is a "sign from God" that women stricken are "bad and evil" and this is their "punishment"....

He had several of our team members in tears (and another was ready to literally whack his head off).

They could not believe someone would do such a thing, let alone truly believe in what he had said.

What amazed them even more was my response (which as team captain, they graciously let me handle).

After he had completed his full discourse (and it was lengthy), in a very subdued voice, I said,

"Thank you for sharing your viewpoint with us today. Although we do not agree with you, we certainly celebrate your right to your beliefs and your right to profess them.  Have a sensational Saturday"

and I walked away.

That was one of the hardest conversations I have ever had, for it took every ounce of control within me to deliver that message without venom. I was able to do so because I not only respect his right to his beliefs, but I have to respect myself and my ability to discern that something made this man feel this strongly about this issue.

To a survivor, his words were a knife through the heart.  But, when all was said & done, I knew in my heart that I did him no harm, that the anger he holds in his heart was not strengthened by my response.  And perhaps, just maybe, he went home and thought about what he had shared that day.

It takes that level of courage, that level of strength and the true belief that you must treat others as you want to be treated, instead of treating them as they have treated you, that will make this world a better place.

 Thanks for letting me share that with you... 

In strength, courage, hope and faith that the cure for breast cancer will be found,

Your friend always,

JeanMarie

JeanMarie http://www.3daydancers.com "May you live today from what you learned yesterday to achieve a better tomorrow"
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Amanda Martin-Shaver

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Re: What about Respect in Making a Difference?
2/8/2009 3:40:49 PM
Hello Myrna,

Welcome to the forum. 

One small 7 letter word 'respect' and the vast meanings especially when you apply it to personal experience.  - then
like I think you are saying, the ramifications and confusion
that come about when the other misunderstands our intent
.


Amanda
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Roger Macdivitt .

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Re: What about Respect in Making a Difference?
2/8/2009 3:45:45 PM

JeanMarie,

That was wonderful.

I need say no more.

Roger

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Jean Marie

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Re: What about Respect in Making a Difference?
2/8/2009 3:50:32 PM

Hello Amanda & Myrna-

What a pleasure it is to spend this afternoon reading your posts!

I am truly touched when people place on paper (or on a computer screen) what is in their hearts. 

And I rejoice in the fact that they feel comfortable to do so!

I especially thank Alain for starting this forum, for I have gotten to share more insights into some of my friends here at ALP, and each of those friendships is precious to me.

I also believe it is the "mutual respect" we hold for each other that makes discussion like this possible!

Have a splediferous Sunday, my friends!

Hugs,

JeanMarie 

JeanMarie http://www.3daydancers.com "May you live today from what you learned yesterday to achieve a better tomorrow"
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Alain Deguire

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Re: What about Respect in Making a Difference?
2/8/2009 3:53:17 PM

Dearest Friends,

Amanda, Myrna, Rinna, Jean-Marie and Roger... I want to tell you that I am impress by the quality of our discussion here and also by the personal involvement of each and everyone of you...

I was away for about 1/2 hour and I come back with so great posts for me to answer... I will not be on much tonight but you can count on my coming back to each and everyone of you... I really enjoy this topic and discussion very much.

Love You all... and, Thank you so much for your heartfelt contribution!

Blessings,

Alain

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