Hello John and Friends This is a very emotional topic and I am glad you brought it up. It has been a long time since I actually touched that part of my heart. I was married for 17 years and am now divorced for 20. I never remarried even though I was engaged a few times. Something that happened to me, and I am sure has happened to others, is, a part of you shuts down. It's like a part of your heart goes into hiding, never to be experienced again. This is unfortunate though because I think that in order to find true happiness in a "new relationship", you must give all of yourself just as you did the first time around. I wish I had understood the grieving process back then like I do now. Many of you have compared divorce to losing a loved through death. Well, in some ways it is similar. The need to progress through a grieving process is there. The sense of loss and lonliness is there. What makes divorce so much more devastating in many cases is the fact that often times, ones self esteem takes a mighty blow. It took me many years to realize that I was still the same good person I was before getting divorced. As Luella pointed out, the damage to the self esteem can actually be the worst part of this whole experience. Now, after 20 years, I have finally found that part of my heart that I had kept hidden for so long. I knew that the lady I am with now would need all of me in order for her to be able to feel secure in our relationship. This is what gave me the courage and the strength to really break out of the self pity mode again and realize that if someone was willing to give me their heart, completely and unconditionally, that I too must be willing to offer just as much in return. Yes, there is life after love but, perhaps even more important, there is also love after love as well. You just have to be able to allow it back into your heart. All of your heart. May a smile follow you to sleep each night,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and be there waiting,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, when you awaken. Sincerly, Bill Vanderbilt Mental Health And Political Forums Respectively http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/8212/ShowForum.aspx http://community.adlandpro.com/forums/9637/ShowForum.aspx Great New Product And Biz Op. Came to me highly recommended by a very good friend. I am just starting and I will keep you all informed as to progress. It really looks good. Here is my link http://www.aatcm.com/billdaddy

Hello Judy, Thank you so much for dropping in. This is Luella. The guilt experience is a very common one, but you seemed to have handled it marvelously. Sometimes you are better friends than partners. And then again, sometimes not. Kindest regards, Luella May and John Elliott, aka Oaky Wood

Hello Bill, Your story is most beautiful. I cannot add another thing to it. This is Luella. Kindest regards, Luella May and John Elliott, aka Oaky Wood

WOW!!! If you only knew what this article meant to me! It could not have come at a better time! Thank You So! Lc

Hi John And to think a lot of it started with two little words, "I do."