Hi Peter,
Thanks it works fine now. Also, you're Right On with the Security Alerts.
Have A Great Day,
Phil
Quote:Hi All,I got this in the mail today and thought it reflects what's going on around the world quite well.Shalom,PeterSecurity Levels Around The World 1] The English are feeling the pinch inrelation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from"Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levelsmay be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A BitCross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since theblitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have beenre-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." Thelast time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level wasduring the great fire of1666. [2] The Scots raised their threat levelfrom "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don'thave any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front linein the British army for the last 300 years. [3] The French government announced yesterday that it has raised itsterror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higherlevels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise wasprecipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory,effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. [4] It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly"to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "IneffectiveCombat Operations" and "Change Sides." [5] The Germans also increased their alert state from "DisdainfulArrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." Theyalso have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". [6] Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and theonly threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. [7] The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready todeploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanishnavy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. [8] Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all oftheir allies, just in case. [9] New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from"baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (theair force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats inthe Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "****, I hope Australia will come and rescueus". [10] Australia meanwhile, has raised its security level from"No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three moreescalation levels remain, [a] "Crikey!', [b] "I think we'll need tocancel the barbie this weekend" and [c] "The barbie iscanceled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalationlevel. [11] Norway has well defined securitylevels too. They have responded to the current situation by raising theirsecurity level from “I’m away from the office on vacation for three months,please leave a message” to “ I’m on my boat, can it wait until next week?” Anyfurther escalation will call into play “I’m at the hut, let’s talk Monday”.There is then the ultimate level “Better call a meeting and get somebody to dosomething.”
Security Levels Around The World
1] The English are feeling the pinch inrelation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from"Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levelsmay be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A BitCross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since theblitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have beenre-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." Thelast time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level wasduring the great fire of1666.
[2] The Scots raised their threat levelfrom "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don'thave any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front linein the British army for the last 300 years. [3] The French government announced yesterday that it has raised itsterror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higherlevels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise wasprecipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory,effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. [4] It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly"to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "IneffectiveCombat Operations" and "Change Sides." [5] The Germans also increased their alert state from "DisdainfulArrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." Theyalso have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". [6] Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and theonly threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. [7] The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready todeploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanishnavy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. [8] Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all oftheir allies, just in case. [9] New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from"baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (theair force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats inthe Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "****, I hope Australia will come and rescueus". [10] Australia meanwhile, has raised its security level from"No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three moreescalation levels remain, [a] "Crikey!', [b] "I think we'll need tocancel the barbie this weekend" and [c] "The barbie iscanceled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalationlevel.
[11] Norway has well defined securitylevels too. They have responded to the current situation by raising theirsecurity level from “I’m away from the office on vacation for three months,please leave a message” to “ I’m on my boat, can it wait until next week?” Anyfurther escalation will call into play “I’m at the hut, let’s talk Monday”.There is then the ultimate level “Better call a meeting and get somebody to dosomething.”
These were the days when TV was fun and non-rehearsed! Click on the "Egg Trick" link below.
THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If Johnny Carson was still around, Leno & Letterman wouldn't have a chance!
Earlier, as dignitaries arrived at the Cabot Center, U.S. Rep.Barney Frank, when asked whether Coakley’s recent dip in the polls wasrelated to sentiments about President Obama, quipped, “President Obama is not Martha Coakley in drag.” Polls have shown national support for Obama and his health careinitiative dropping, which some pundits and pollsters have linked toCoakley’s own woes in Massachusetts, along with a failure to campaignaggressively. But Frank attributed Coakley’s recent troubles to therace becoming “a personality contest bereft of the issues.”
Don't even get me started on "Ms" Barney Frank. Talk about a total waste of perfectly good Oxygen....
And while we're at it, here's a scary Trio of Liberal Dummycrats...
