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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
10/29/2009 8:28:38 PM
How Bad Is The Economy?

The economy is so bad...that I got a pre-declined
credit card in the mail.

It's so bad...I ordered a burger at McDonalds and
the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford
fries with that?"

The economy is so bad... that CEO's are now playing
miniature golf.

The economy is so bad... if the bank returns your
check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and
ask if they meant you or them.

The economy is so bad... Hot Wheels and Matchbox
stocks are trading higher than GM.
The economy is so bad...McDonalds is selling the 1/4
ouncer.
The economy is so bad...parents in Beverly Hills fired
their nannies and learned their children's names.
The economy is so bad...a truckload of Americans
was caught sneaking into Mexico.
The economy is so bad...Dick Cheney took his
stockbroker hunting.
The economy is so bad...people in Africa are donating
money to Americans.
The economy is so bad...Motel Six won't leave the
light on anymore.
The economy is so bad...the Mafia is laying off judges.
The economy is so bad...Exxon-Mobil laid off 25
Congressmen.


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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
10/29/2009 9:03:24 PM

Hi Evelyn, Robert & Helen,

I'm enjoying all your contributions to this thread and I thank you for it.

I got this one from a verrrry good friend and thought you would enjoy it.

Shalom,

Peter

Norwegian wrestler

A Russian and a Norwegian wrestler (just happened
to be named Ole) were set to square off for the Olympic
Gold medal.
Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach
came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all the research
we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match
because of this 'pretzel' hold he has.
"Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If
he does, you're finished." Ole nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, Ole and the Russian circled each
other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden,
the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Ole and wrapping him
up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment
arose from the crowd and the coach buried his face in his
hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the
inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd
and the coach raised his eyes just in time to watch the
Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a
thud and Ole collapsed on top of him making the pin and
winning the match.
The crowd went crazy. The coach was astounded.
When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did
you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
Ole answered, "Vell, I vas ready to give up ven he got me in
dat hold, but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw
dis pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nuttin' to
lose so wid my last ounce of strength I stretched out my
neck and bit dose babies just as hard as I could."
So the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"
"Vel not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get ven you
bite your own nuts!"
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
10/29/2009 9:07:04 PM

And then the same friend sent me this one and I couldn't resist sharing it with you. short but to the point. :)

Shalom,

Peter

A MAN CALLS 911 AND SAYS HE THINKS
HIS WIFE IS DEAD.
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?" ASKS
THE DISPATCHER.
"WELL", SAYS THE HUSBAND. "THE SEX
IS THE SAME BUT THE DISHES ARE PILING
UP"
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
10/29/2009 9:59:54 PM

Hello Peter,

With this thread, I am geting stomach aches! of laughing. May I trust that as you find a moment to breath in to just hold your breath as you watch what I believe to be the most gifted kid around; amazing talent.

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
10/31/2009 1:26:53 PM

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math.
His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors,
flash cards, special learning centers. In short,
everything they could think of to help his math.
Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary
down and enrolled him In the local Catholic
school. After the first day, little Zachary came
home with a very serious look on his face. He
didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he
went straight to his room and started studying.

Books and papers were spread out all over
the room and little Zachary was hard at work.
His mother was amazed. She called him down
to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done,
he marched back to his room without a word,
and in no time, he was back hitting the books as
hard as before.

This went on For some time, day after day, while
the mother tried to understand what made all the
difference.

Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.
He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room
and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom
looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary
got an 'A' in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to
his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the
nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his
head, no. 'Well, then,' she replied, Was it the books,
the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT
WAS IT?'
Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the
first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the
plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'
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