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Hi All,

When I found this in my inbox I knew it had to be shared. Enjoy, in all senses of the word.

Shalom,

Peter

P.S. Even depression is covered and we all know some ex members who would do well to add this to their pill popping.

ALL NATURAL

It has taken me many, many months of my retirement time, but I have just finished building my new Medicine Cabinet.

Disease Wine Daily dose Allergies Chardonnay de Paeuf 1 glasses Anemia Graves 4 glasses Bronchitis Bourgogne or Bordeaux ( + sugar and cinnamon ) 3 cups Constipation Anjou blanc Vouvray 4 glasses Coronary arteries Dry Champagne 4 glasses Diarrhea Beaujolais Nouveau 4 glasses Fever Champagne sec 1 bottle Heart Burgundy, Santenay Rouge 2 glasses Uric acid gout Sancerre, Pouilly Fume 4 glasses Hypertension Alsace, Sancerre 4 glasses Menopause Saint Emilion 4 glasses Depression Rhine 4 glasses Obesity Burgundy 4 glasses Obesity Rose Provence 1 bottle Rheumatism Champagne 4 glasses Excessive weight loss Chateau de Beaune 4 glasses

From the Association Of Retired People

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?	A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?	A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?	A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?	A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?	A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?	A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?	A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?	A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?	A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor!

Hi friends, here are a couple of little ditties I hope you enjoy. :)

A pharmacist comes back from his break and sees a man leaning against the wall, his face strained and nervous. He asks his assistant: "What's wrong with that man over there?"

"He came in looking for cough medicine," she replies. "I couldn't find any, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxatives."

"Oh great!" steamed the pharmacist. "He is going to sue us now. You don't give laxatives to a person with a cough!"

"Well," said the clerk defensively, "look at him. He's afraid to cough!"

I thought these quotations were hilarious. LOL!!!

For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a certain level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

Please find for if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

Hi Peter, another GREAT video by Jodi. She is certainly a favorite of mine. Here is one I just got a few minutes ago from my brother. :)