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Jim
Jim Allen

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/25/2011 10:48:52 PM


Gabby, I nearly died laughing at this one! It is all TRUE!! Only In America and yes we are scr3wed. IMHO
Quote:
Here goes little Johnny again.......


The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!' Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Little Akio: 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'.

'Excellent!', said the teacher continuing, 'let's try one a bit more difficult...'

Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?'

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: 'John F. Kennedy,
1961'.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F_ _ k the Japs,'.

'Who said that? I want to know right now!' she angrily demanded.

Little Akio put his hand up, 'General MacArthur, 1945.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right!!! Now who said that!?'

Again, Little Akio says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh ****, We're screwed!'

Little Akio said quietly, 'The American people, November 4, 2008.'


May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


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Jim
Jim Allen

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/26/2011 1:11:02 PM
Santa Claus is coming to town.

santaiscoming.jpg

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/26/2011 2:51:53 PM
Sad but true Jim. Wonder if Santa is still on the approved list of texting words?

Shalom,

Peter

Quote:
Santa Claus is coming to town.

santaiscoming.jpg
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/26/2011 2:53:02 PM
Hi All,

Ben Crystal is here again with his weekly roundup of all the important news you don't want to miss. :)

Shalom,

Peter


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tW0ehW0CCGM&feature=player_embedded

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
11/27/2011 11:56:16 AM
Hi All,

When I found this in my inbox I knew it had to be shared. Enjoy, in all senses of the word.

Shalom,

Peter

P.S. Even depression is covered and we all know some ex members who would do well to add this to their pill popping.

ALL NATURAL
It has taken me many, many months of my retirement time, but I have just finished building my new Medicine Cabinet.







Disease Wine Daily dose
Allergies Chardonnay de Paeuf 1 glasses
Anemia Graves 4 glasses
Bronchitis Bourgogne or Bordeaux ( + sugar and cinnamon ) 3 cups
Constipation Anjou blanc Vouvray 4 glasses
Coronary arteries Dry Champagne 4 glasses
Diarrhea Beaujolais Nouveau 4 glasses
Fever Champagne sec 1 bottle
Heart Burgundy, Santenay Rouge 2 glasses
Uric acid gout Sancerre, Pouilly Fume 4 glasses
Hypertension Alsace, Sancerre 4 glasses
Menopause Saint Emilion 4 glasses
Depression Rhine 4 glasses
Obesity Burgundy 4 glasses
Obesity Rose Provence 1 bottle
Rheumatism Champagne 4 glasses
Excessive weight loss Chateau de Beaune 4 glasses
From the Association Of Retired People
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor!

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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