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Amanda 2190 2587 Lexington	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 11/24/2011 6:49:42 PM
	Hello Peter and Friends A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate. The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter: "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple."

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Gabrielle 833 4356 Sacram...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 11/25/2011 1:33:55 AM
	Happy Thanksgiving to all...... A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said: "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?" HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
	God Bless Everyone
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 11/25/2011 11:10:35 AM
	Hi All, Here's a clever app for your cell phone (if you're an android user) to lower the radiation while using your phone. It's very clever and might interest some of you. Shalom, Peter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jv1ZyqzVEA&feature=player_embedded
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Jim 5805 11253 Holiday	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 11/25/2011 3:31:20 PM
	I think this is the solution to our financial woes don't you? Quote: Priceless Peter! I just posted this one in my forum and felt it deserved a spot here too Quote: The Democratic Solution to Our Crisis! A new medication that fixes everything! Spenditol Quote: Hello Friends, Is the below article about Public Housing a joke? Nah, I don't think so: sooooooooo, I'll have to post it in my President That Hates His Country thread too just for good measure. Shalom, Peter The Problem with Public Housing The problem with public housing is that the residents are not the owners. The people that live in the house did not earn the house, but were loaned the property from the true owners, the taxpayers. Because of this, the residents do not have the "pride of ownership" that comes with the hard work necessary. In fact, the opposite happens and the residents resent their benefactors because the very house is a constant reminder that they themselves did not earn the right to live in the house. They do not appreciate the value of the property and see no need to maintain or respect it in any way. The result is the same whether you are talking about a studio apartment or a magnificent mansion full of priceless antiques. If the people who live there do not feel they earned the privilege, they will make this known through their actions. The picture below illustrates the point. The Resolute Desk was built from the timbers of the HMS Resolute and was a gift from Queen Victoria to President Rutherford B. Hayes. It is considered a national treasure and an icon of the presidency. Mr. Obama, you are not in a hut in Kenya, or public housing in Chicago. With all due respect, get your damn feet off our desk!!
	May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you, Jim Allen III Skype: JAllen3D Everything You Need For Online Success
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Mary Evelyn 23244 5352 Strawb...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 11/25/2011 8:05:04 PM
	Since today is Black Friday here in the USA, I thought this one was VERY appropriate. :) It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line... "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

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