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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
11/30/2009 2:57:54 PM
Quote:
Hello Peter and joke lovers :-)

These are great and a wonderful way to increase our level of serotonin :))

Now here is my contribution to yours - even if I'm not sure how funny you'll think this is. but it fits so well after the latest ... :-))


New Element Found

The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of anew element. In early October [2005] a major research institutionannounced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. Thenew element has been named "Government."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputyneutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic massof 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, whichare surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles calledpeons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can bedetected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes intocontact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over fourdays to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but insteadundergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistantneutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium'smass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization willcause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists tobelieve that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity inconcentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as CriticalMorass.

When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) - an elementwhich radiates just as much energy as Gv since it has half as manypeons but twice as many morons.

Have a nice day :-)

With friendship,
Anamaria



Ah AnaMaria,

This is brilliant. Loved every word. Where in the world did you find this?

Thanks for sharing this new element with us. :)

Shalom,

Peter
Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

1470
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
12/1/2009 8:46:21 AM
Hi All,

Here are some cute ones for those in their 60s and for the rest to see what's in store for them.

Shalom,

Peter

From the Canadian Association Of Retired People

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live..

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go bra less. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"


Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
12/1/2009 8:51:22 AM
Hmmm, wonder what our feminist friends will have to say about this Texan? :)

Only a Texas man can make you feel like a woman.

A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence
was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one
wing was struck by lightning.

One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of
the plane and screamed, "I'm too young to die," she cried.
Then she yelled, "If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes
on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane
who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the
desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man
from Texas stood up in the rear of the plane.

He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair
and hazel eyes.

Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt
as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed
his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest. She gasped...
Then, he spoke...



"Iron this -- and then get me a beer."

Peter Fogel
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Helen Elias

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
12/1/2009 9:57:02 AM

Only a Texan man would be that stupid.

Helen

Spend $4 and get back $10 every time you spend. Contact me (Helen) at this email »»» zhebee@yahoo.com
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
12/1/2009 12:07:34 PM
Quote:

Only a Texan man would be that stupid.

Helen



Ooooops Helen, I see the Texan sorta annoyed you. I did ask what our feminist friends will think about this one and I think you gave a short, concise and honest opinion. :)

Shalom,

Peter



Peter Fogel
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