Helen, I don't think it is just a Texas thing. I think it is universal. :) Here is one I got from my daughter this morning:

OVER FIVE THOUSAND YEARS AGO, MOSES SAID TO THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL : PICK UP YOUR SHOVEL, MOUNT YOUR ASSES AND CAMELS, AND I WILL LEAD YOU TO THE PROMISED LAND.

NEARLY 75 YEARS AGO, ROOSEVELT SAID, LAY DOWN YOUR SHOVELS, SIT ON YOUR ASSES, AND LIGHT UP A CAMEL, THIS IS THE PROMISED LAND.

NOW OBAMA HAS STOLEN YOUR SHOVEL, TAXED YOUR ASSES, RAISED THE PRICE OF CAMELS, AND MORTGAGED THE PROMISED LAND. AND THEY GAVE HIM THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR DOING IT.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

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Only a Texan man would be that stupid.

Helen

Ooooops Helen, I see the Texan sorta annoyed you. I did ask what our feminist friends will think about this one and I think you gave a short, concise and honest opinion. :)

Shalom,

Peter

No, not upset, just surprised. Let's face it, even a man would think the Texan was stupid to be worrying about his shirt when he could get laid. We all know there is nothing more important to a man than that so there has to be something wrong (or should I say 'right') with him. Any other man I know would say to hell with the ironing. I must say, however, that I liked with Evelyn's remark LOL. Keep 'em coming, Peter. I can take it. :)) I was raised with 4 brothers, no sisters.

Helen

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Helen, I don't think it is just a Texas thing. I think it is universal. :) Here is one I got from my daughter this morning:

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up,I'm going to knock you into the

middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5.. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're

not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry About."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who

don't have wonderful parents Like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.