Neil,
Thank you for being so kind to use this opportunity to teach me about things which I try to avoid.
I`ll try to explain.
This is a bigger problem maybe than I can realize, but I hope you`ll again find right words to help my peace to come at all.
All adults around me still remember me as a total clairvoyant child. I was speaking about events, names from people never seen .... and all what I have ever told, was fulfilled. I wasn`t aware of anything. Two words were exactly clear to me from the moment of my birth: God and Love.
My mother`s parents, who were watching over me while Branka was working ( a lot of time, too much time) were always speaking against my Mom. Branka just always have imperative to take care HOW DOES SHE EARN. Also, if anyone was suffering, but didn`t have to pay ... she didn`t ask for money.
Her parents have offended her so very often, comparing her with charlatans and cheaters who became rich over night, and my Mom, with so real gifts and a big knowledge and very hard work ... earned sometimes less than we need for food.
Growing between two fires, having fear : WHAT IF MOM IS REALLY INSANE? ..... I actually have earned a fobia of my own talents and gifts which I have supressed most I could.
Branka doesn`t force me even to listen about "her stuff" ... I came to hate word ENERGY :( ...
But, as days passed and I became older, I am sure that my mother is ,LOL but true, TOO INSANE ... and amazing being ... but still I have not a courage to go deeper. I have heard her, teaching some one, that she explained ABOUT THINGS IN WHICH THERE`S NO MISTERY AND THAT ALL CAN BE EXPLAINED WITH A FEW PHYSICAL FORMULAS ...
Yes, I wish to say, I don`t know how to settle this my inner conflict.
Thank you Neil.
I think I understand your words.
HUGS!
Luka