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Robert Montgomery

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Re: Jokes Thread
3/15/2007 2:15:03 PM

Sue:

Think of how many horses your automobile has!

Now get back on that hoss and ride sally ride!!!!!!!!

Loves riding Geldings myself, used to have one a few years back......

Would almost give Sinfulchilds right arm to have another horse!

To ride all day in the woods around here would be just fabulous.....

I remember one time was on a hoss called Shadow, every time I would go to get on him, he would reach back and nip at my legs..... I started getting angry at him each time we would go on our daily stroll.... Then I put hot sauce on an apple and gave it to him..... he never bit me again, and to see a hoss run to get water is like watching a dog eat peanut butter........

Robert

Ye Ole Mutt

Ram_Industries Robert A. Montgomery http://Martech-Inc.biz
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Sue
Sue Marshall

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Re: Jokes Thread
3/15/2007 2:32:49 PM
Well Joe and Robert, perhaps I will get on a horse again one day, never say never eh...

I never realised I was actually phyically scared of horses until I took my son for an innocent walk a few years ago and there was a horse we needed to pass, as I approached I just started shaking and eventually I just couldn't pass and we had to turn back - it was a shock to me to realise that had happened to me and I know it must be from my childhood experiences - and when I was young, I so wanted to learn to ride, hence the lesson where I got thrown.

So maybe one day...

Sue
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Robert Montgomery

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Re: Jokes Thread
3/15/2007 3:34:22 PM

In relative nature to Sues' earlier post!

EuroEnglish vs American English!!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

I think I will make my gramatical incorrect spell check free spelling mistakes on my own........

I may not be able to spell some words correctly, but then I do not read so well either.   :P :P :P

Robert

Ram_Industries Robert A. Montgomery http://Martech-Inc.biz
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Joe
Joe Downing

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Re: Jokes Thread
3/15/2007 3:42:08 PM
It wouldn't get that far down here.  Somebody would be gettin a rope by now. 
***ADLAND BULLETIN BOARD*** What is Xtreme X2O? ###Get some X2O and Jerky RADICAL for the TRUTH! Laus Deo! ** HUG DEPARTMENT: Always OPE
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Robert Montgomery

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Re: Jokes Thread
3/15/2007 5:19:39 PM

Just a few whimsicals to pass your night away!!!

You know you are an Internet Junkie when...

 When asked to fill in your address, your answer begins with http://
 Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
 You chat with your fingers, not your mouth.
 You use Netscape 4.72, and you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.
 You know the difference between Java and Javascript.
 Most of your friends have an @ in their names.
 In order to watch CNN you move to www.cnn.com
 On your business card the e-mail appears before the phone number.
 You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
 You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
 You can perfectly imitate the sound pattern of your modem connecting to your ISP.
 You can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-).
 You are told about a new program, and you are disappointed to find that it is a TV program.
 Not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.
 You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.


Ten ways to realize your Internet connection is a little slow


Text on Web pages display as Morse Code and... Graphics arrive via FedEx.
You believe a heavier string might improve your throught put
You post a message to your favorite Newsgroup and it displays a week later.
Your credit card expires while ordering on-line.
Playboy web site exhibits "Playmate of the year"...for 1989.
You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "Ping Pong".
Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump.
You receive e-mails with stamps on them.
You click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

Your grandmother has learned the difference between DSL and Dial-up while you have been waiting for your browser to open up.

Robert

Ram_Industries Robert A. Montgomery http://Martech-Inc.biz
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