Hi Thomas,

This is a very interesting topic and one worth exploring.

In my lifetime I had very few "close" friends but those that I have have lasted through thick and thin. Any one who says that he has many close friends is either fooling himself or doesn't understand the meaning of true friendship.

My wife and I had a couple that were very close friends for many years. I was the godfather of one of their sons and before we had our kids their children were like our own (that didn't change after we had ours but they had "competition). The wife came from a very wealthy family but they didn't approve of the husband so more or less cut them off financially. When their second son was born (my godson) they didn't have enough money for the Brit (circumcision ceremony). My wife and I paid for it all and told them that they could repay us when and if they were able. A funny thing happened after that. We would talk at least 5 times a week on the phone and met at least once a week prior to the Brit but after that they simply disappeared. Completely vanished. We would talk and from time to time on the phone but the conversations would be very short and when we invited them there was always an excuse why they couldn't make it.....This went on for a couple of months and then I told my wife that I'm going to ask that they repay the money they "owed" us and they did, Lo and behold things more or less returned to the way they were previously. So what's the moral of the story do you think, that they were simply embarrassed to meet with us because of their debt?? I don't think so since they were like family to us and we never thought of the debt until they disappeared on us. But unfortunately my wife and I went through a very rough patch around 30 years ago and had to sell our business and our home in order to repay business debts. We were in a very bad financial situation and believe it or not that is when they really disappeared. Never heard from them for over 2 years until I was back on my feet and in a very good financial situation once again. All of a sudden they wanted to be friends again and you can imagine my reply. I wanted nothing to do with them.

The nice part of this is that during that bad patch I discovered who my real friends were and are till this day. Two couples that proved what real friendship really is. Not financially but just by being there for us, with a good word and moral support. One of them is more like a brother then a friend and as you can see these friendships are over 30 years old. I went to South Africa for 10 years for business reasons and they visited often and we talked constantly on the phone and when I returned to Israel we continued our relationships as if we were never away.

It is very hard to measure online friendships. I believe I have some very good friends here at adland but these are "virtual" friendships that aren't measured in the same way as friends in the real world. I've seen supposed friends go off on others in such an ugly manner that even in the real world you don't see. I've seen members who profess unconditional "love" for their fellow man in one forum forget that love  in a millisecond in another forum and turn into lions foraging on their prey. 

My conclusion is that one is truly lucky and blessed if he can claim to have a few real friends and when you have them nurture them and remain as true to them as they are to you.

Sorry for being so long winded but this is a topic that I've given a lot of thought to over the years and could probably go on and on but I have no desire to bore you all more then I already have.

All the best & Shalom,

Peter