I had good girlfriends when I was in school, even though we always didn't have everything in common. Then when I moved to Michigan when I was 20, my contact with them dwindled, partly because I was 700 miles away and partly because I knew that if we hadn't met in a daily school situation, we probably wouldn't have become close friends in the first place. I haven't really made any close female friends in over 20 years, I don't try to. Friendships take effort and maintenance, like maintaining a flower garden...attention and care, etc.
I've had my husband for 20 years, he's the closest friend I have, but we are more just friends than partners. Talking about divorce has made us realize that we need to stay friends, because that's the most difficult thing to find and maintain among people.
I have a sister who lives 5 miles away, I only talk to her by phone maybe once a month and we see each other even less than that. Why? She's a gossip, she tells me what to do instead of looking for the good qualities I already have.
That's the same thing we find in "online friends". If we would avoid someone who doesn't make us truly happy in real life, why spend part of our online time with the same kinds of people that we don't even know? Besides that, it's too easy online to only show people what we want them to see about our personalities. Online friendships are based on what exactly?
My sister works for the gas company right now, she was going door-to-door to get people to sign up for the new payment plan for their gas bills. I usually wouldn't have had a long conversation with a gas employee that knocked on my door, I would have let my husband handle it. But that day it was my sister who was the gas lady. I said to myself, "If I didn't know her, I'd say she was a really nice lady, she's polite and knows how to do her job and how to talk to people." ... BUT I DO know her, I have known her all my life, as I said before, she's a gossip and wants to fit people into conforming to her way of doing things, instead of appreciating the ways they are different from her, in good ways. She easily can make dozens of "friends" in real life, because she's a personable smiling person, but does she put an effort in maintaining a true friendship with all of them? I don't think she has time for that. When we think of who our friends are, we need to think of the time put forth in making that relationship genuine.
I am very wary of making friends in real life and online. I don't spend my time too much in personal messages or inviting people to chat with me on Skype or whatever. The people here are people, just like all the neighbors we don't get together with on our block. Just like all the parents of our kids friends that we don't have coffee with. Online is just a convenience and a cut-thru-the-preliminaries way of making instant friends, just add water and microwave! In one minute, there's your new friend!
Real friendships take time, I'm sure there are lots of people here who have put in several months of really kindhearted warmth toward a few others, but then again, there are lots of people who are not naturally warm or don't have time to put into it. If it's not a reflection of their real life, it probably isn't genuine online either.