My heartfelt thank you goes to Marty ( Marty ) for beginning this open forum with me.  It takes a lot of courage to talk about something so personal. 

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Depression is an ugly illness that affects a person emotionally, physically and spiritually.  Unless you've suffered with it, its hard to understand.  Its the reason why so many say, "Just get over it."  If only it were that easy.

Depression is more than just having a "blue" day.  Its a deep, black hole that engulfs your whole being.  There is little in the way of joy.  If the person is on medication, the joylessness is even more pronounced.

Some people like I was, have an inate ability to hide it.  The mask they wear hides the deep seated pain they feel.  Often, the diagnosis comes from the person appearing slovenly.  Because, I always took pride in my appearance, doctors weren't able to "see" it, therefore it didn't exist.  Not even when I was suicidal, did they see it. 

There are many professionals, who go to work on a daily basis appearing normal, all the while feeling like they're dying inside.  Sadly, too often the day comes when there is a breaking point.  Hitting bottom is almost ineveitable, but in many cases it may take years before it happens.  Hitting bottom often results in an attempted suicide.  The stats are high for successful ones.

There is help, but YOU need to talk and if nobody is listening, you need to keep talking until somebody takes you seriously.

This forum will be for anyone who suffers from depression, anxiety, panic attacks or any other emotional issue.  It will also be for those who live with someone who suffers.  Depression doesn't just affect the person who suffers, it affects everybody around them.

Its time to put away the masks.  Let's talk ... let's help relieve the suffering. You and your families are not alone. 

Sincerely,
Terry

Hi Terry,

Thank's for inviting me to re-introduce myself.Terry I understand your problem of highs and lows because I have the same problem.I surround myself with tapes,self-help books,inspirational messeges etc.It is amazing how much they help.

My favorites are Anything by Louise Hay,Wayne Dyer,and Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson.Also"The Art of Happiness" by The Dali Llama is awesome.

Right now I am hooked on "The Secret" and "The Law of Attraction" Thank God that now ,through constant practice I am learning how to change my thoughts from negative to positive.Terry, keep working on it,you can do it!  I am also very excited about a new venture for me with a 7 year olf Fortune "500" Co.  "GDI" .

"The Secret" attracted this business to me, and now I am and will continue to create my own much deserved wealth through the "Law of Attraction"  I come from a very negative background(like most of us) and I  am happy to say that I turned my entire life around,Terry so could you! I  love helping people who are in the same situation that I was  (And still partly am) in.

Many Blessings,

Marty Bromberg

Thank you so much for visiting and introducing yourself Marty. 

I've been reading self-help books since 1980 and more recently rather than read what they say, I've been listening and taking notes.  The act of writing down what I learn allows me to remember and put it into practice better.

Its true from reading the books, even on the worst of days, a postitive thought will creep in.  Most often, I heard myself say, "Rain or shine its a beautiful day."  I don't remember if I read that one somewhere or created it to help myself, but it does help.

Perhaps you can relate to this poem.  I wrote it in 1997 at the end of some of my darker days.

I understand your statement loving to help people who are in the same situation that I was  (And still partly am) in. 

For me, it doesn't totally go away, but it becomes less and more manageable.  I never used to talk about "it."  Unless you've been there, depression is hard to understand.  When its combined with the highs and a good dose of panic attacks are mixed in, its even harder to understand. 

Sanctuary

Protection in the darkness
Engulfed by the silence of the black
No light to intrude on th solitude
Blinded by nothingness
Acuteness of feeling
Perceptive
The body and the black as one.
The body alone a lifeless form
But for the breath that say, "I'm alive!"
In the darkness
In the silence
In the solitude
Protected by the darkness
"I'm alive!"
-©Terry Gorley-

Thank you for having the courage to share this, Marty.  Its greatly appreciated.  Its time to stop hiding something that is out of our control. 

Please note ... that said there are ways to help manage and take back control.  

Hi Terri,

Your like my soul sister.I can relate to everything you say.I have been there,panic attacks ,depression,acute anxiety,the feeling of dispear,the feeling of sinking deeper and deeper into the blackness I had(and still partly have it all)Why I have it,where it came from etc.does nothing to help.I don't want to get into the blame game.My answer Terry is that I will always have it.Just like a alchoholic is always an alchoholic.The difference is if you can have it under control and manage it and prevent your self from slipping too far back.Terry, a few years ago I could never talk like this.I was ashamed. Now I can tell it out loud,just like an alchoholic say's Hello I am Tom Smith and I am an alchoholic,I can say Hello , I am Marty Bromberg and I am a depressed,phobic,with acute anxiety.The difference of me now is that I realize that it is my control.I control my thoughts.Am I Perfect? Absolutely NOT.Do I slip back once in a while.Damm right I DO--I am only human and I don't make it worse anymore by punishing myself.Terry,I am glad you picked this topic,maybee we can help some people out there.

Many Blessings,

Marty Bromberg

Terry,

This may sound like a question of ignorance, but how does one know that they are depressed?  I have seen happy people who had fun with all those around them, but when they were alone... it seemed that their heart was broken.  Do you have information on how to tell if you are depressed?  I would love to be part of this discussion because I care.  I lost a great friend from the pains of depression.  It would have been wonderful to have known the signs.  Thank you for starting this discussion.  Kudos to you and Marty.