Hello Tommy & Jim,
Glad you both stopped by for a visit. Tommy, Thanks for the Funny Picture.
Here's a few to start off your Week with a Smile...
Ice Cream
An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now." Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said.
"I won't forget," the old gent said.
"But I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it, so I'll write it down," she replied.
"I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the gentleman.
A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast."
_______________
At the Vet's Office
One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring.
After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense. "Sir," she interjected, "do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?" _______________
Flight Engineer in Panama
As a flight engineer, I had been stationed in Panama for several months before the December 1989 invasion. Ever since I began my air force flying career, my mother has been concerned about my safety. So I expected a long letter from her expressing her anxiety.
But what she sent was a sheet of paper containing six words: "KICK THEIRS. PROTECT YOURS. LOVE, MOM." _______________
Broken Scale
There was a nice bathroom scale in our ship's cabin on our recent cruise. Since the sign in front of the fitness center claimed that the average cruiser gained 7 to 10 pounds during a cruise, I figured the scale was a way to help the cruiser avoid the weight gain.
I stepped on the scale. It was 10 pounds too low.
I asked my wife to try it. She said that it was registering about 10 pounds too low.
The thing was broken.
The ship had excellent service and I was super impressed with the cabin steward. I didn't mention it to him, but he must have known that our scale was out of whack and not measuring correctly. When I stepped on the scale on the last day of the cruise my weight was reading perfectly.
Excellent cruise service! _______________
And finally, for the Groaner of the Week...
The Sixties
The Sixties, yes, the Sixties. Time of hope, time of rebellion, time for planning new ways to do things, ways that could not be any worse that what was being done at that time.
In contrast to most of the other movements of the time, one very active group combined militant vegetarianism (not so
uncommon) with militant prohibitionism (very uncommon). They believed, in fact, that the first would automatically lead to perfect health. Eat only vegetables, love one another, and the desire and drive to consume Demon Rum would just pass away.
They believed that: "Peas would rule the planets, and love would clear the bars. It was the dawning of the age of asparagus."
_______________
Have A Bright & Happy Week My Friends,
Phil