A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him.
To his surprise, the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.
Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age, I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally been.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
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Advice From Above
A keen but unskilled golfer plays the same course every week, and has particular trouble with the water trap on the 14th hole, losing a ball in it every time he plays that hole. One round he decides that this process is too expensive and decides to use an old cut-up ball instead of a good ball. He opens his bag and gets the old ball, tees it up and addresses it. Just as he commences his back-swing a mighty voice comes from on high:
"USE THE NEW BALL..."
Figuring any advice from such a source should be worth following he picks up the old ball and tees up the new one again. He starts his back-swing but once again is interrupted by a voice from the sky:
"TAKE A PRACTICE SWING..."
The man steps away from the ball and rehearses his swing. Just as he steps forward to readdress the ball, the voice speaks again:
"USE THE OLD BALL."
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The Fortune Teller
Golfer: "Are there golf courses in Heaven?"
Fortune Teller: "I have good news, and I have bad news..."
Golfer: "What's the good news?"
Fortune Teller: "The good news is that Heaven's golf courses are beautiful beyond anything you could imagine!"
Golfer: "How could there be any bad news with that?"
Fortune Teller: "You have a tee-time at 8:30 tomorrow morning."
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Have A Terrific Week My Friends,
Phil