Hi Phil

To Be 6 Again...

Hi Karen,

Now that's Funny! Thanks for the Grins and Giggles.

Here's a few more I thought you might like...

One Line Sums It Up...

• Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
  You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

• After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
  She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

• Man is incomplete until he is married.
  Then he is finished.

• Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

• You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

• I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.

• The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature.
  The new theory is that men don't mature.
  So you might as well marry a younger one.

• The difference between marriage and death?
  Dead people are free.

• The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book

• Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

• When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
  But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

• There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!"

• Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
  * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
  * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
  * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

• It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

• A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

• Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
  Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

• Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
  Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

• A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

• Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are still attached.

• Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

• Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

• Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
  ** The Engagement Ring
  ** The Wedding Ring
  ** The Suffe-Ring
  ** The Endu-Ring

Have A Happy Week My Friend,

Phil

Hi Karen,

Thanks for the Fishing story. That was cute! Smart Snake! Unfortunately, I'm not able to see any of the pictures in the second one. Might just be my Computer, 'cause I'm still not able to see any YouTube Videos at all. Not quite sure why that is.

Here's a couple more "Fishy" stories...

A Fishy Story

Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

__________

A Fishing Lure

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.

After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir," replied the young guy. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

__________

Have A Terrific Week,

Phil

Hello My Friends,

Just got these today in the Mail...

Egg Broke

One morning my sister woke up to see her two-year-old son
standing beside her bed. He said "Egg broke."

She promptly scolded him. "How many times have I told you
not to touch the eggs?"

His immediate reply was "One, two, three..." as he pointed
to a finger with each number.

Of course, the scolding was immediately over as she tried to
stifle the laughter!

__________

Crying Husband

One night, a wife wakes up in the middle of the night to
find her husband in the kitchen, crying at the kitchen
table.

"What's wrong, honey?"

He says, "Remember when we told your father you were
pregnant, and he gave me two options: to marry you, or spend
ten years in prison?"

"Yes, of course, and we've had several wonderful years of
marriage since. But what's wrong?"

"I would have got out of prison today."

__________

Dog Breeds That Just Didn't Make It

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for
visionaries

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer = Spaniel Irish
Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat
Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog
for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful
mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks (or
drools) incessantly

Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by ... oh, well, it
doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work with
you

Bloodhound + Borzoi = Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy
transport

__________

Fast Drinker

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers, and starts
drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy replies, "You would be drinking fast if you had what
I had."

The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy replies, "No money."

__________

Good Old Days

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days and the
lower cost of living in particular. "When I was a kid, my
mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two
pints of milk, six oranges, two loaves o' bread, a magazine,
and some new blue jeans ... all for a dollar!"

Then Grandpa said sadly, "You can't do that anymore. They
got those video cameras everywhere you look."

__________

Have A Happy Wednesday My Friends,

Phil