Hi Cheryl, Sara, & Roger,
Sorry that I've been away so much lately. Things have been quite hectic, but that's good, because that means there are more Folks being helped. God is good, and He always knows what is best for our lives. I do believe that I am doing exactly what I should be doing according to His will for me.
I also feel that I simply must share some Smiles with my Friends, however, so here's a few that I hope that you'll like...
Barney Underwear
A 4-year-old was at the pediatrician for a check up.
As the doctor examined her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?"
The little girl stayed silent.
Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat.
He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?"
Again, the little girl was silent.
Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest.
As he listened to her heartbeat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"
"Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney is on my underpants."
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Last Second
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.
The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
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Big Bump
One night at dinner, Morgan said to his wife, "I have to admit I'm feeling much better since my operation, but I can't figure out why I got this big bump on my head."
"Oh, that!" said his spouse. "In the middle of your operation they suddenly ran out of ether."
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New Government Diet Guidelines
They advise you to:
- List your ten favourite foods.
- List your five favourite drinks.
- List all green vegetables that look like marsh grass, fur balls or little trees.
- List water.
- Avoid 1 & 2; eat only 3; drink only 4.
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Grandma's Meat Loaf
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?"
Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out."
"OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, 'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef' ..."
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Three Wise Women?
Ever wonder, what if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?
They would have asked directions,
Arrived on time,
Helped deliver the baby,
Cleaned the stable,
Made a casserole, and
Brought practical gifts!
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Have A Happy Weekend My Friends,
Phil