I thought this forum was supposed to be funny! Art's plan for retirement is exactly what my wife and I have been seriously discussing for the last few months...only we like Extended Stay America!

Keep the fun comin', folks! I'll be back...

By the way, just heard this one:

How do you catch a unique bird?

U-nique up on 'em.

How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way.

Have a great day....

Don

SALESMANSHIP


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LITTLE JOHNNY EXPLAINS HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their

weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive

salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said

proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and

I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that

magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of

cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough

tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip &

Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog ****!"

Then I would say,"It is dog ****. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something ****ty for free,

Selling Toothbrushes: How true!!!!

==============

I went to Catholic schools from 1st grade through Senior Year in High Schools. Some of the best jokes came from the priests...especially jokes about being Catholic.

Remember Little Johnny in the story about selling toothbrushes?

Well, in his early years he was such a problem that he got kicked out of school after school.

Finally, in desperation, his parents decided to try a Catholic School, even though they were not Catholic themselves.

They were surprised to find that after a few days, they had not heard from any of Johnny's teachers, and, to make things better, Johnny had been much better at home as well.

Finally came a PTA meeting. Johnny's parents talked with his teacher and were amazed to find that he was the perfect little angel in class.

They could not figure it out and were wondering what had happened when the Pastor walked by and heard their discussion.

"I'll tell you what happened," he said.

"As you know, in a Catholic school, we start off each day with Mass. Well, Johnny was acting up, and pointed at the crucifix above the altar, and yelled out, 'What's that for?' That's when Sister Marilyn, the principal grabbed him by the arm, sat him down in a pew, and said, 'That's what happens to little boys who act up.' He's been good as gold since."

Told to a whole class of eighth graders, including me, by the pastor...much to the horror of the nuns.

Have a great day.

Don