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Karen Gigikos

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RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
6/13/2010 7:05:39 PM

cid:part1.07010307.09080304@moment.net

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of their lives.


When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.


One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'


Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.'


Shortly after that, Rose passed on.


A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'


'Who is it?', asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'


'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'


'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'


'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.


'Rose! Where are you?'


'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'


'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.


'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's softball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.'


'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'

'You're pitching Tuesday.'

Life is uncertain - eat dessert first.

karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
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Karen Gigikos

324
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RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
6/13/2010 7:09:38 PM
from Art

NO NURSING HOME FOR US!!!
[][]
No nursing home for us. We are checking into the Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble.

We have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc .. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap..

[]

$5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

[]

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

[]

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

[]

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn , or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii ? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
T V broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

[]
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
[]

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

[]The grand kids can use the pool.
What more can you ask for?

[]

So, when we reach that golden age,
we'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all our email to:

[]

..ITS NOT THE YEARS IN YOUR LIFE THAT COUNT,
ITS THE LIFE IN YOUR YEARS.........................
karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
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Karen Gigikos

324
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1410
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Person Of The Week
RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
6/13/2010 7:12:56 PM
from Art FW: Blonde in Church - Chuckle..

A little humor, priceless A Blonde in Church

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, “Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This
is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.

Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from
God and this Christian Family “

No one moved. The preacher continued, “Do you have the nerve to face
me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in
your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess
your Transgression.” Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would
stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her
voice quivered as she spoke, “Reverend there has been a
terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku
Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard
under the sheets.”

The preacher fell to his knees; his wife fainted; and the
Congregation roared!

karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
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Karen Gigikos

324
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1410
Invite Me as a Friend
Person Of The Week
RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
6/13/2010 7:31:38 PM
From art

DIVORCE VS. MURDER



A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up
to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to
buy some cyanide.

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need
cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law? I'll lose my license!
They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife......

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a
prescription.


karen gigikos / black belt grannyHobbies
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Karen Gigikos

324
1410 Posts
1410
Invite Me as a Friend
Person Of The Week
RE: Funnist Fourm Ever by karen gigikos
6/15/2010 2:43:44 PM
My Brother keith sent this to me
thewitch.jpg witch picture by kareblblt



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