Well I have been very quietly sitting in my corner and following along. It has been pointed out that when it comes to involvement in an MLM that it is done as a choice. I agree, and in that light I would like to share a word that we learn at a very young age but it seems that we do not use it as adults, when and where we should. So you have this pushy upline that is guilting you into spending money on this, or that, on a tisket, a tasket, a green and yellow basket, and in your mind you really are questioning whether you should or not but the guilt is strong so you cave in. Now I would like to share the following excerpt by Linda D Tillman, PhD (hmm her name is Linda too) "Start The Power of Saying, "No" ======================= The unassertive "No" ======================= is accompanied by weak excuses and rationalizations. If you lack confidence when you say "No" you may think that you need to support your "No" with lots of reasons to convince the other person that you mean it. You might even make up an excuse to support your "No." This can backfire if the lie is exposed and again, you will sound ineffective because you need to have an excuse to support your stand. ======================= The aggressive "No" ======================= is done with contempt. "Are you kidding? Me, get your mail while you're out of town?" Sometimes the aggressive "No" includes an attack on the person making the request. "You must be crazy. I couldn't take on a project that unimportant." ======================= The assertive "No" ======================= is simple and direct. "No, I won't be able to help with that." If you would like to offer an explanation, make it short and simple. "No, I won't be able to help with that. I've already made a commitment for Friday afternoon." ======================= Strategies to make the assertive "No" easier ======================= 1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to *ASK FOR TIME TO THINK IT OVER*. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you. 2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the "No." Make sure that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person's eyes as you say, "No." Shake your head "No," as you say, "No." 3. Remember that "No," is an honorable response. If you decide that "No," is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and honest for you to say, "No." 4. If you say, "Yes," when you want to say, "No," you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, "No" when you need to. 5. If you are saying, "No," to someone whom you would help under different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes to the doctor, you might say, "No, Susie, I can't keep Billie for you. I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but I have already made lunch plans and I won't be able to help you. 6. Start your sentence with the word, "No." It's easier to keep the commitment to say, "No," if it's the first word out of your mouth. ======================= Practicing for the World Series ======================= Let's look at some daily ways you can practice saying, "No," so that it comes more naturally to you. Paulette Dale in her book, Did You Say Something, Susan? suggests some simple ways to practice saying, "No." Here are some of her suggestions: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Say "No," to the clerk who wants to write your phone number down when you return something to the store; to the telemarketer who disturbs your dinner; to the perfume demonstrator at the department store; to your friend's pets when they jump on you; to the secretary who answers the phone and asks if you mind if she puts you on hold. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Make it a project to say, "No," to something every day. When you do, notice it and give yourself credit for practicing saying such an important two letter word. End" Did we forget that is okay to say no especially when we feel uncomfortable about things. I have seen the MLM people and been to a seminar or two. At one of these I was assigned a sponser or guide or whatever they called this person because I showed up at a meeting with no sponser so I could gather information. I sat in my chair and started to take notes in my little book, which I brought along just for that purpose. The assigned person that they set on me, kept on trying to look over and see what I was writing, I made it very difficult for him to do. He asked if he could answer any questions that I might have, as I was sure writing a lot. I said No. He asked if I would like to get more information. I said No. He asked, I said, this went on for a two hour presentation. They tried the old you have to buld up your, I said No. Have we forgotten the power of these two little letters? All together now, so we can here it loud and clear.... (Linda D Tillman, PhD is a clinical psychologist and coach, working with people to speak up for themselves in life and work.)

Howdy Linda, ======================= "Master puppeteers in the lofty towers? Great descriptive and very melodramatic... ======================= Thankyou. I do try to give entertainment value as well. LOL! Heh...heh... ======================== "When you point the finger, three point back." ======================== Oddly ,enough that was one of the terms well recited in the main MLM that I was involved in. Next point: ========================= "There are good MLMs and bad ones, just like there are good companies and bad ones." ========================= I heartily agree. It's not the MLM or the company that necessarily makes it good or bad. The best ship in the world could founder on a reef if it has a poor Captain. Some would say the Titanic and her Captain Smith would fit that bill rather nicely. ======================= "Whether it's an MLM or a company, when we've "had enough" of a bad one, we leave. Why? Because we're NOT puppets and there's no master puppeteer. If you were a puppet and they pulled the strings, you'd still be in it. ======================= Well, let's say peons and minions then if puppet is an unsuitable term. To the exalted ones at the peak of the MLM they have minions whipping the peons into shape. If a peon leaves or a dozen leave then they are just replaced. The minions see to it. Hence my "two arms, two legs and a heartbeat" comment. MLM is a numbers game. Looking for suspects to turn them into --> prospects to turn them into --> converts. I've said it before, I'll say it again - the swirling masses below feed the king pins at the top. Those at the top don't care if it is peon pool A, B and C that feeds them or pool A, C and D or for that matter pool X, Y and Z. The numbers are what drives it. Within the mass there are always varying numbers of honey bees and drones. So long as the honey bees are bringing the PV (point value) and BV (business value) back to the nest those at the top don't care. After all, they are always insulated by the next lowest tier of "leadership." Turning to Heather... I can see how you attained that position at such a young age and have maintained it ever since. Your industry is a tough and unrelenting one. I know it well. You are obviously seen as a great asset to the business. I am actually amazed that you haven't been poached by a competitor. Could it be loyalty that keeps you there? And what was your last offering in our little by-play? Fuzzy bunny? Oh!!!! What about lone wolf? Gary Simpson

Heather... =========================================== This should be something that their parents have already taught them, in my opinion. Don't you think? Take my 4 year old for instance...she doesn't put her toys back in their bins, momma throws them out. I think as her mother, it's my JOB to send her out into the world knowing that EVERY decision she makes will have an affect. =========================================== Don't *I* think? Of course. Heck, I used to do that to my EX. lol The washer didn't eat socks. The garbage did. And magazines, and game pieces. Yes, I think people should be aware that their choices affect them. But, sadly, most people choose not to. It's easier to blame someone else. Then, the next step is to start beating the drum and marching in the pity parade. Except the pity parade goes nowhere except around and around in a circle. Saying "this was my own fault" is harder. But it leads somewhere. When we can say "I did a and got b" and didn't like "b" - then we learn not to do "a" : ) Linda

Peter, ========== Well I have been very quietly sitting in my corner and following along. ========== For a day or two I thought maybe Linda had you tied up. Nice to "see" your back. Personally, I think it takes so much more effort to say "yes" to something that you really aren't interested in doing and then "backing" yourself out of it than it does to just say no right off the bat. I never understood how people are so easily manipulated. Not only that, like I said earlier, why on earth would you want someone working for you that isn't really interested in the work in the 1st place? Just creates more work for yourself.

No wonder I am getting nothing done here - LOL! But I am listening to the Ten Tenors as I type. Regarding yes and no. I said this a while back but it is probably opportune to repeat it here. Generally... Yes means maybe Maybe means no No means NO! When you understand that little formula then you learn to rely on the person who should be getting the task done - yourself! Gary Simpson