Gary, May I also mention how much I adore the "pet names"? ==================== Don't encourage me too much. I'll go off the Richter scale. LOL!!! ======================== Listen, seeing as Linda is an Advisor and all, I can only "encourage" her to a certain point, I need someone to get into trouble with. : )

Hi Linda -- said some stuff about sefl development that triggered a recollec tion of something i read one time. I'm not a psychologist, nor do I wish to be one when i grow up -- like my 19 yr old daughter tells me, "it's to late for you!" --that notwithstanding, i would like to share a tidbit i picked up from reading jungian psychology many years ago. Carl Jung postualted that fear was what drives the most basic personality trait, that of orientation (extraversion - outward and introversion - inward). His theory was that the infant had an inborm fear of dying, which as it began to mature a littel bit, transformed itself into either a fear of abandonmnet or dominance. A fear of abandonment developed into exraversion (the constant looking toward others and concern about others for emotional energy, relatioship and meaning) or a fear of dominance (the looking within for emotional energy, relatioship and meaning). After i understood that, a lot of things started to gradually fall in place for me about various conflict related buttons. for what it's worth.

Hi Greer; ========================================== like my 19 yr old daughter tells me, "it's to late for you!" ========================================== LOL. Kids, hey! My daughter is 23. I tell her I don't know what I want to be when I grow up yet. She laughs and says "Mom, you're weird." Then I tell her she's just like me. She laughs and says she knows. Heh. I've read (and enjoyed) some of Carl Jung's works, too. I find that a lot of theory deals with too much black and white, though, and we live in a world that's filled with shades of grey. For example, on the topic of extraverts vs introverts, I'd have to honestly say that I'm both. And in regard to humans being born with a fear of dying, I'd say we are born with survival instinct. Whether that's just semantics or a fine line of difference depends on who I ask, because then we delve into opinions and THAT is a world of it's own. lol : ) Linda

Hey Heather... ========================================= Take anger, for example. Where does anger come from? Anger often comes from fear. Often the fear stems from unresolved issues. =========================================== Although I do agree, I also believe that a lot of times anger comes from a lack of understanding and in some cases sheer frustration. Very true. What then happens is that we sometimes add assumption to the situation. Usually, it works like this. 1) I hear something 2) It triggers an unresolved issue that bothers me 3) I get angry Sometimes, there's an extra step in the process. Like this: 1) I hear something 2) I misunderstand it. 3) What I *think* was said triggers an unresolved issue that bothers me 4) I get angry. Then, I'm responding to what I *think* was said, while the other person is basing their words on what they *meant*. Isn't communication fun? lol I had a fifth grade teacher that was teaching a lesson one day. She wrote @SS - U - ME on the board and told the class that when you "assume" you usually make as @SS out of you and me. Underneath it, she wrote: ASK. Then she wrote - ASK is better than @SS We've all heard that one - but as a 5th grade student, seeing the TEACHER write @SS on the board - TWICE - stuck in my head forever. lol. I've always strive to ASK instead of @SS lol : ) Linda P.S. Pardon the @ signs, but the forum won't allow me to post that word and "edits" it. lol

Er, pardon moi for saying this but... heh, heh... Every time we have a little sparring match here the hit counters go ballistic. I happened on the Randomizer thread. It happened here. What does that say about us folks? Could we read into it that conflict causes interest? Hmm. Do we "secretly" like conflict? Are we massaging our reptilian instincts? What is the meaning of the universe? Or for that matter pi? These are questions upon which I ponder! On another matter... Linda, the cryptology is fun but I wanna know how come even when I say hell or damn I get asterisked out? Now you say a$$ and it happens too. This is making a total # of some fairly inoffensive words. Gary Simpson