Two rednecks decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who recommended him to take history or logical thinking class.
“What’s logical thinking?” the first redneck asked.
The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”
“I sure do.”
“Then I can assume, using logical thinking, that you have a yard,” replied the professor.
“That’s real good!” said the redneck.
The professor continued, “Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house.”
Impressed, the redneck said, “Amazing!”
“And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.”
“That’s Betty Mae! This is incredible!”
The redneck was catching on.
“Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual,” said the professor.
“You’re absolutely right! Why that’s the most fascinating thing I ever heard! I can’t wait to take that logical thinking class!”
The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.
“So what class are ya taking’?” asked the friend.
“logical thinking class!” replied the first redneck.
“What the hell is logical thinking?” asked his friend.
“Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?” asked the first redneck.
“No,” his friend replied.
“You’re gay, ain’t ya?”

Hi Peter,

We have a winner! This is my favorite...

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? ....
A: America!

Here's a few more...

What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama? One is a well dressed, attractive piece of eye-candy. The other kills her own food.

What does Obama say when you sneeze around him? I bless you.

What happens when Obama mentions his relationship with Saul Alinsky? He turns red.

Have you seen the new bumper sticker? It’s Obama bin Biden.

What’s the difference between Osama bin Laden and Obama bin Biden? With Obama bin Biden, you get two for the price of one.

Since Barack Obama likes to play basketball and Sarah Palin was point guard on a state champion basketball team in high school. Obama said he’d like to play Palin in a game of horse. Palin wants a game of one-on-one. “I think I can take him,” she said. “Everyone knows he won’t move to his right.”

What did Obama say when the Reverend Jeremiah Wright asked if he was listening during his sermons? “I’m all ears.”

Speaking of ears, what’s the difference between Barack Obama and Dumbo? Dumbo is smarter than he looks.

Why did Barack Obama cross the road? To help the other side.

Why won’t Obama laugh at himself? He doesn’t want to be accused of being a racist.

Why won’t Obama drink Pepsi? He wrote in his book that he prefers Coke.

Why did Jimmy Carter campaign so hard for Obama? It was Carter’s one shot to avoid going down in history as the worst president ever.

What does terrorist Bill Ayers think of his friend, Barack Obama? He thinks he’s the bomb.

Why is Obama so skinny? He has to stay light on his feet to walk on water.

What does Obama and Osama bin Laden have in common? They’re both friends with terrorists who bombed the Pentagon.

Where did Obama decry the influence of money on politics? Barbara Streisand’s $28,500 a plate dinner.

What do Miley Cyrus and Barack Obama have in common? They both attract young people with mindless verses.

What’s the difference between Michelle Obama and pit bull? Pit bulls aren’t angry *all* the time.

Top 10 signs you got the "public option" health care plan

10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter
the trailer park.”
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a
day.”
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to goodwill
last month.
(4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not
a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is, “embalming.”
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU’VE JOINED OBAMA’S HEALTH CARE PLAN

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape