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Phillip Black

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/9/2010 2:29:29 PM

Hi Peter,

Oops, here's a few more...


Obama Health Care Plan Jokes

Under ObamaCare all Lasik procedures will be done outside. In the sun. With a magnifying glass.

Q. What is the Obama health care plan to prevent obesity?
A. That by destroying the economy it will discourage eating.

ObamaCare side effects may include swollen deficits, shortness of doctors, difficulty getting treatment, elevated tax rates and premature death.

ObamaCare is a medical mystery that even Doctor House couldn't figure out.

If the Obama health care plan makes sense to you, it's time to up your medication.

Here's another sign of ObamaCare. Examination rooms have tip jars.

Under ObamaCare you will be able to fill a prescription without a prescription.

Obamacare will include a program to recycle used glass eyes. The program will be called Cash for Clinkers.

Q: What is the ObamaCare plan to encourage physical fitness?
A: Higher gas taxes to encourage walking.

Barack Obama announced that his ObamaCare team will be headed by Joe Biden. The President admitted that the Obama health care team has many problems to overcome, the biggest one being that Joe Biden is heading the team.

The new ObamaCare slogan is "Give till it hurts!"

ObamaCare medications should be hidden under the seat during traffic stops.

A Democrat told a Republican, "I just got a great new hearing aid, thanks to ObamaCare."
The Republican asked, "What kind is it?"
The Democrat replied, "A quarter after two o'clock."

Q. Does ObamaCare cover preexisting conditions?
A. Yes, but only if they don't require any treatment.

Obama is having such a hard time selling his health care plan that he's thinking about putting it on eBay.
As Daddy used to say. Now you done gone and got me started!
Have A Great Day Y'all,
Phil
“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Phillip Black

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/9/2010 3:02:07 PM

Hi Peter,

Seems that once the jokes about ObamaCare start, they're just like a bad case of Diarrhea, they just keep coming...

Top Twenty Five Features of ObamaCare

"No Shirt, No Shoes, No Surgery"

1. Medical degrees from Devry.
2. Mandatory organ donor cards.
3. Lighters used to sterilize syringes.
4. Stomach stapling done at Office Max.
5. Coin operated morphine dispensers.
6. Tap water is a plasma substitute.
7. Homeless people all have only one kidney.
8. Free cremation with any major operation.
9. Bunkbeds in the Intensive Care Unit.
10. Your first dose of narcotics is free.
11. Special "showers" for the elderly.
12. Tongue depressors taste like Popsicles.
13. None of the nurses speak English.
14. The hospital cafeteria failed its health inspection.
15. Ambulances have meters.
16. Hospital walls are infested with "lab" rats.
17. Do-it-yourself heart bypass kits.
18. Wind up pacemakers.
19. You make up your own hospital bed.
20. Anesthesia comes in a bong.
21. Patients' meals are MREs.
22. Leeches make a comeback!
23. Hospital TVs are all turned to MSNBC.
24. Sears surgical tools.
25. A visit to the hospital will automatically cancel your life insurance policy.

*********************
*********************
What are the ten best uses for the ObamaCare bill?

(Rated by our readers.)

1. Toilet paper
2. Bird cage liners
3. Kindling
4. Landfill
5. Spitballs
6. Paper shredders
7. Paper airplanes
8. Origami
9. Holes in dry wall
10. Doorstops
*********************

*********************
Popular Barack Obama Jokes

Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.

Like any corrupt Chicago politician, Obama would frequently go the cemetery to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested that they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has as much right to vote as anyone else here!"

Obama Anagrams
President Barack Obama = Arab base, pink Democrat
President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbish

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'I ♥ Obama.' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

*********************

Feel That Warmth!

Have A Great Weekend,

Phil


“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Helen Elias

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/9/2010 5:34:18 PM

Sooooooo

Please tell me ...did my picture of Tiger and his endorsement
turn out this time? Can you see the picture at the bottom of
page 70 of this forum
?

Thanks

Helen

Spend $4 and get back $10 every time you spend. Contact me (Helen) at this email »»» zhebee@yahoo.com
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/9/2010 5:45:19 PM
Quote:

Sooooooo

Please tell me ...did my picture of Tiger and his endorsement
turn out this time? Can you see the picture at the bottom of
page 70 of this forum
?

Thanks

Helen



Hi Helen,

Unfortunately the answer is a big no. I can't see it.

You know aside from saving the picture to an online website or photo gallery you can also save it to the Adland photo gallery and then upload it from there to any forum either with the page link or copy and pasting.

If you're copying it or using the properties from either a gmail or yahoo address it won't work in in these editors or in any other website building tool.
I use Picasa for all pictures that haven't got their original properties.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Shalom,

Peter


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/10/2010 12:01:44 AM
Hi All,

Tiger and B Hussein both worth subjects here. Keep em coming. :)

Shalom,

Peter

Humor so true it hurts to laff





The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.


**********************
America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

**********************
Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

**********************
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

**********************
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.

**********************
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean
and
It started to sink, who would be saved? ....
A: America!

**********************
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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