Hi Peter,
Sticking to the "Southern" theme, here's one of my all-time favorites. Originally got it from my old Friend, BJ. Another of the Adlanders not around anymore. I miss her too.
GRITS
Three young men were sitting around discussing how they had given their new wives their chores.
The first man, who married a girl from Colorado, related as to how he had told his wife that she was to do all of the dishes and housecleaning. On the first day, he didn't see any results. By the second day, he saw a few changes. Finally, on the third day, he came home to a clean house with all of the dishes washed.
The second man was married to a young girl from Nebraska and he had told her that she was to do the dishes & housecleaning, as well as all of the cooking. Once again, on the first day he saw no results, but by the second day, he saw that it was better. By the third day, he happily saw that all the dishes were done, the house was clean, and there was a delicious looking hot meal on the table.
The third fellow had married a young lady from Mississippi. He told his wife that in addition to all of the cooking, housecleaning, and dishes, she should also wash all of the laundry and mow the lawn. He said that on the first day, he couldn't see any results, and even on the second day he couldn't see any results either. But, he said that fortunately, by the third day, enough of the swelling had gone down in his left eye that he could see well enough to fix himself a bite to eat, and load the dishwasher.
And The Moral Is -
DON"T MESS WITH GRITS!
That's Girls Raised In The South.
___________________
While we're on the subject of Grits...
The Ten Commandments of Grits
1. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.
2. Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits; for this is blasphemy.
3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Grits.
4. Thou shalt only use Salt, Butter and Cheese as toppings for thy Grits.
5. Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits.
6. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.
7. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.
8. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.
9. Thou shalt not put sugar on thy Grits either.
10. Thou shalt not put sugar or syrup on thy Grits.
____________________
Finally, there's the fellow who is not quite sure where he's from, but he sure does know what he wants...
All Things to All People
Striking up a conversation with the attractive woman seated beside him on a coast-to-coast flight, a would be Romeo, asked, "What type of man attracts you?"
"I've always been drawn to Native American men," she replied. "They're so in tune with nature."
"I see," the man said, nodding.
"But then, I really go for Jewish men who put women on a pedestal and I can hardly resist the way Southern men treat their ladies with such respect."
"Please, forgive me for not introducing myself properly," said the man. "My name is Running Bear Goldstein, but all my friends call me Bubba."
Have A Happy Week My Friends,
Phil