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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09 1/3/2010 5:36:58 AM
	Hi All, Phil and Evelyn have been giving us some lessons in Southern mannerisms. Well here's one that shows their common sense too with a twist. Shalom, Peter Dead mule Curtis and Leroy saw an ad in the newspaper and bought a mule for 100 dollars The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said Sorry fellows I have some bad news, the mule died last night. Curtis and Leroy replied Well just give us our money back. The farmer said I cant do that I went and spent it already. they said O K then just bring us the dead mule. The farmer asked what in the world are you gonna do with a dead mule. Curtis said We gonna raffle him off The farmer said you cant raffle off a dead mule. Leroy said We shore can. Heck we dont hafta tell nobody he is dead A couple of weeks later the farmer ran into them at the grocery store and ask What did you fellers ever do with that dead mule? They said We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do. They said shucks we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of 898 dollars. The farmer said my Lord didn't anyone complain? Curtis said well the feller who won got upset so we gave him his 2 dollars back Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. Theyre overseeing the Bailout Program. Limit all U S politicians to two terms One in office and one in prison . Illinois already does this
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Phillip

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Thomas...

RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09

1/5/2010 1:33:54 AM

Hi Peter,

Here's a few they might have wished they had heard before New Year's Eve...

Warnings you won't see on the label

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have super-human fighting powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that old friends and ex-lovers really enjoy it when you call them on the phone at 3:30 in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people, causing you to act like an moron, and/or causing you to get beat up, broken up with, even arrested.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up on a sidewalk in a pool of vomit, wondering where your car keys, wallet, and automobile are.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be the leading cause of pregnancy!

Remember...THINK BEFORE YOU DRINK!

Have A Happy & Sober New Year,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10

Mary Evelyn 23244 5352 Strawb...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09 1/6/2010 1:09:24 AM
	Hi Peter, here's another "southern" one. Helen, this one is for you. Remember the one about the Texan? :) Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless..' With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!' As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... and squealed... 'YES! YES! I WON! I WON!' She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, ' What did she roll?' The other answered, 'I don't know.... I thought you were watching.' Moral --- Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men..... are men.. :) :)

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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09 1/6/2010 7:48:04 AM
	Hi Phil & Evelyn, Thanks for your latest contributions. The excessive alcohol is way to funny and I never thought ALL blonds were dumb. :) Especially considering that my daughters are both blond and verrrrrrrrry smart I'd be in the perpetual s*hit house if I thought like that. Hmmmmm, come to think of it both my granddaughters are blond too!!! I'm surrounded by blonds. :) I have to admit I received a joke today that is very short, extremely funny but verrrrrrrrrrrry naughty. Even I have second thoughts about posting it. :) I'll Pm it to you. Shalom, Peter
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Jim 5805 11253 Holiday	RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09 1/6/2010 2:42:40 PM
	Editor's Note: This image contains graphic content that some viewers may find disturbing. Click to view the image, or use the buttons above to navigate away.
	May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you, Jim Allen III Skype: JAllen3D Everything You Need For Online Success
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