Hey Peter, in reply to the last question posed. YES!!! At least he knew Radical Islam was a threat and treated the threat as such.
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GetReady...Taco Bueno
$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at TACO BUENOsaid
to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes
and something that used to be a JOLLY RANCHER. Having already
handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck
to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the
harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll
just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet?" A
mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was
wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began
to boil. Old? Me?
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside.
I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in
front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now?
A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I staredwith
utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.
"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to
anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and
tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads
hanging from my REARVIEW MIRROR. I had no purple beads hanging from
my rearview mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the
back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A
partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien
vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot,
relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger!
My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito,
only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into
the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and
black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming
to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?"
At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my
vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security
benefits.
Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a
young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was
holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think youleft
this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the
little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff
like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes,
I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius... And no, Itold the
officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall.
I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I
promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a
blanket.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
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