THE BAPTIST DINNER
A group of country friends from the
Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to
get together on a regular basis,
socialize, and play games.
The lady of the house was to prepare
the meal.
When it came time for Al and Janet to
be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all
the others. Janet decided to have
mushroom-smothered steak. But
mushrooms are expensive.
She then told her husband,
'No mushrooms. They are too
expensive.' he said, 'Why don't you
go down in the pasture and pick
some of those mushrooms?
There are plenty in the creek bed.'
She said, 'No, some wild mushrooms
are poison.' He said, 'Well, I see
varmints eating them and they're OK.'
So Janet decided to give it a try.
She picked a bunch, washed, sliced,
diced them for her smothered steak.
Then she went out on the back porch
and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a
double handful.
Ol' Spot ate every bite All morning
long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the
wild mushrooms didn't seem to
affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and
Janet even hired a helper lady from
town to help her serve. She had on
a white apron and a fancy little cap
on her head.
After everyone had finished, they
relaxed, socialized, and played 42
and dominoes.
About then, the helper lady from
town came in and whispered in Janet's ear.
She said, 'Mrs. Williams, Ol'
Spot just died.'
Janet went into hysterics. After
she finally calmed down, she called
the doctor and told him what had
happened.
The doctor said, 'That's bad, but
I think we can take care of it. I
will call for an ambulance and I
will be there as quick as possible.
We'll give everyone enemas and we
will pump out everyone's stomach.
Everything will be fine. Just keep
them calm.'
Soon they could hear the siren as
the ambulance was coming down
the road. The EMT's and the doctor
had their suitcases, syringes, and
a stomach pump. One by one, they
took each person into the bathroom,
gave them an enema, and pumped out
their stomach.
After the last one was finished,
the doctor came out and said, 'I
think everything will be fine now.'
and he left.
They were all looking pretty weak
sitting around the living room and
about this time the helper lady came
in and said, 'You know, that fellow
that ran over Ol' Spot never even
stopped.'
:)