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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/31/2012 9:35:48 AM
Hi All,

I got this in the mail today from a very good friend. It's a giraffe giving birth in the Memphis Zoo. Quite an experience. Watch the mother pushing the new born forcing him/her to walk.

Shalom,

Peter


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kZW8e79Bm0&feature=player_embedded

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/31/2012 4:00:12 PM
Hello Friends,

Personal Liberty Digest's Ben Crystal is here with the great eight for the week.

Everyone out of the Obamacare pool... except for Nancy Pelosi! Obama's worst week ever — so far. Bobby Rush stands up to the man (the A/C man, anyway). And Hanoi Jane lands the role of a lifetime. All this — plus — Vegas, baby! Presented in 1080 hi-def, FOR FREE! It's The Great Eight, from the Personal Liberty Digest™

Shalom,

Peter


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rTOlNDHwM28


Peter Fogel
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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
4/2/2012 11:38:51 AM
Deep in the Serengeti an Elephant meets a great African Python for the first time.

“Holy cr*p, you're some weird species... how do you get around with no feet?”

“Simple,” replies the python, “I crawl around.”

“Ah, OK!”

And as the elephant is about to take leave a new thought emerges, he turns around and asks the python “Excuse me but how do you breed, you don't have testicles either?”

“Big *ss, I lay eggs, so I don't need those things.”

“Ah, OK!”

The elephant moves on, but a sudden thought hits him and he turns around once more and asks;

“Without wishing to bother you much longer; how do you eat with no paws, legs or hands?”

“Now look here Big *ss, I simply open my mouth wide and gobble it all in, no messing around.”

“Ah, OK! So if I've got you right; you ramp around, you've got no balls and have a big mouth, are you by any chance a Democrat?

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Mr.
Mr. D

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
4/2/2012 12:23:16 PM

How do you run an effective Ad?

My Latest PERSONAL AD


To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Kalamazoo, night before last.


Date: April 1st, 1:43 am. E.S.T.


I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.


First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine inAfghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!


I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].


After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!


I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]


I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.


Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.


The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).


In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!


Thoughtfully yours,

Mark Dewey

Your Safety is

My Business.



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Mr.
Mr. D

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
4/2/2012 12:27:10 PM

DAMN FINE EXPLANATION




The wife came home early, and found her


Husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.


And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a


disrespectful pig' she cried. 'How dare you


do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of


Your children! I 'm leaving you .. I want a


Divorce right away!'


And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a


Minute love, so at least I can tell you


What happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,'


but they'll be the last words you'll ever say


to me!'


And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young


Lady here, asked me for a lift. She looked so


Down and out and defenseless, that I took


Pity on her and let her into the car..


I noticed that she was very thin, not well


Dressed and very dirty. She told me that she


hadn't eaten for three days.


So, in my compassion, I brought her home


And warmed up the enchiladas I made for you


Last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because


you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor


Thing devoured them in moments.


Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested


A shower, and while she was doing that, I


Noticed her clothes were dirty and full of


Holes, so I threw them away.


Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her


The designer jeans that you have had for a


few years, but don't wear because you say


they are too tight.


I also gave her the underwear that was


Your anniversary present, which you don't


Wear because I don't have good taste.


I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you


For Christmas, that you don't wear just to


Annoy her, and I also donated those boots


You bought at the expensive boutique, and


Don't wear because someone at work has


A pair the same.'


The husband took a quick breath and continued -


'She was so grateful for my understanding


And help that as I walked her to the door,

She turned to me with tears in her eyes

And said,



"Please ...Do you have anything else that

Your wife doesn't use?"


Man Plans.......God Laughs!

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