Hi Peter, It's always good to stop by here for a smile or two. Besides, hearing the truth ever so often makes life a little brighter, don't ya think? Here's some more that I've run across lately... Obama Golf Obama has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of golf became effective 01 June 2010.
This is only a preview as the complete rulebook is being rewritten as we speak, however, here are a few of the changes…
Golfers with handicaps:
- Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- Above 18 will get a $25 check each time they play.
The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows:
- For handicaps below 10, an additional $10.
- Between 11 and 18, no additional amount.
- Above 18, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.
The term “gimme” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:
- Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
- Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
- Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.
In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term ‘net score’ will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.
This is intended to ‘redistribute’ the success of winning by making sure that in every competition; the above 18 handicap players will post only ‘net score’ against every other player’s gross score.
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.
Golf must be about Fairness.
It should have nothing to do with Ability. _______________ L'il Ole Lemon Picker A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths, and I voted for Obama." _______________ You Did What!!!! Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, “I want to go to Disneyland “
Barack said, “No problem, I”ll take you there on my Airforce One airplane.”
The second kid said, “I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan”s shoes.”
Barack said, “I”ll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!”
The third kid said, “ I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!”
Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, “But you don”t look like you”re handicapped.”
The kid said, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning!” _______________ Sad But True At the White House state dinner, Mexican President Calderon said that he and President Obama have a lot in common. They’re both presidents of beautiful countries, they’re both left-handed, and they both preside over 40 million Mexican people. - Jay Leno 
And now, for a few quickies.. Obama's economy is so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that? Why does Obama have such a full head of hair?
Nancy Pelosi gives him all the ones she plucks from her upper lip. Q. Why doesn't Obama pray?
A. It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed. Why did Barack Obama register to run for Office as a Democrat?
The Communist Party doesn't get enough votes. President Obama announced this month that he created 70,000 new jobs. The bad news is, they are all vacation planners for him and his family. - Jay Leno And finally... I heard that the Obama economy is so bad... he's now only using one teleprompter per speech. 
Have A Great Week My Friends, Phil
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