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Hi All,

The moral of the below joke I think is........there's no way to keep em happy.

I guess we all have to take a course in appeasement form B Hussein Obowma. :)

Shalom,

Peter

P.S. This one's sorta for you Robert. :)

The wife b*itcheded me out last night, for walking through

the house with my boots on again. So I decided to

jump on the bike and go for a quick spin, to cool down...

Boy, that pissed her off even more!!!

Hey I know that house!

I would have to miserably agree to this scientific engineer just as I miserably disagree to global warming. I certainly disagree after having checked and concluded to no leaking of the mercury from the thermometer, even though there is nothing much to read from it; it’s so low!

Hi Robert,

Only a scientist would complicate Christmas and Santa Claus. I think with the climate gate scandal working its magic full force now let's let all those celebrating Christmas enjoy it and the kids their Santa Claus.


Here though is something serious to ponder on.

Shalom,

Peter

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to everyword you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, theman speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaksand the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and theneighbors listen.

Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure ofone thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble startswhen they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking aboutsomething you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before youfinish talking.

Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical,and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.

Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical anda considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.

Commandment 10.

Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

Hmmmmm, why did I know you'd recognize that house Jim? :)

Shalom,

Peter

Hi Guys & Gals,

Here's a few - stop me if you've heard them...

Today the Obama Administration announced the long-waited strategy for Afgahnistan.

It is called the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" strategy.

You don't ask about the strategy and they won't tell you what the strategy is.

_______________

IRS Quote "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

_______________

One day President Obama fell off a bridge and was saved by three young boys.

Obama thanked them and said he'd give them all one thing in the whole world.

The first boy asked for a trip to Disney Land and vuala... that summer he was in Disney Land.

The second boy asked for a pair of Nike Shocks and sure enough the next day he was wearing a pair of Nike's.

The third boy asked for a wheel chair with a plasma TV, cup holders and hydrolics.

Obama, looking puzzled at the boy, asked why he wanted a tricked out wheel chair because he didn't look disabled.

The young boy replied, "I will be after my father finds out that I saved you".

_______________

Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort. The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.

The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant again and once again there were monkeys everywhere.

Now you know how the stock market works.

_______________

Barrack Obama and Sarah Palin were sitting by each other on a plane. Obama thinking Palin was an Alaskan redneck thought he could make some easy money by tricking her into playing a game.

He told her," If I ask you a question, and you don't know it, then you pay me five dollars. If I don't know one of your questions, I'll pay you FIVE HUNDRED dollars.

Palin agreed and Obama began the game by asking, "How many miles is it from the Sun to Jupiter?"

Not knowing Palin paid him five dollars.

Then Palin asked Obama," What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

After long hours of researching and consulting everyone he knew... he finally gave up and paid the five hundred dollars to Palin.

Then Obama asked, "So...what's the answer. What goes up the hill with three legs and comes down with four?

Palin handed him five dollars.

_______________

And, finally some Taliban one-liners

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: What does Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days