Quote:

Hi Guys & Gals,

Here's a few - stop me if you've heard them...

Today the Obama Administration announced the long-waited strategy for Afgahnistan.

It is called the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" strategy.

You don't ask about the strategy and they won't tell you what the strategy is.

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IRS Quote "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

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One day President Obama fell off a bridge and was saved by three young boys.

Obama thanked them and said he'd give them all one thing in the whole world.

The first boy asked for a trip to Disney Land and vuala... that summer he was in Disney Land.

The second boy asked for a pair of Nike Shocks and sure enough the next day he was wearing a pair of Nike's.

The third boy asked for a wheel chair with a plasma TV, cup holders and hydrolics.

Obama, looking puzzled at the boy, asked why he wanted a tricked out wheel chair because he didn't look disabled.

The young boy replied, "I will be after my father finds out that I saved you".

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Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort. The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.

The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant again and once again there were monkeys everywhere.

Now you know how the stock market works.

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Barrack Obama and Sarah Palin were sitting by each other on a plane. Obama thinking Palin was an Alaskan redneck thought he could make some easy money by tricking her into playing a game.

He told her," If I ask you a question, and you don't know it, then you pay me five dollars. If I don't know one of your questions, I'll pay you FIVE HUNDRED dollars.

Palin agreed and Obama began the game by asking, "How many miles is it from the Sun to Jupiter?"

Not knowing Palin paid him five dollars.

Then Palin asked Obama," What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

After long hours of researching and consulting everyone he knew... he finally gave up and paid the five hundred dollars to Palin.

Then Obama asked, "So...what's the answer. What goes up the hill with three legs and comes down with four?

Palin handed him five dollars.

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And, finally some Taliban one-liners

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: What does Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days

Have A Happy Week My Friends,

Phil

Happy Monday gang, I am certainly enjoying this forum. Here's one I just got in my inbox and probably only a Baptist will relate. :)

Baptist Cowboy
A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, 'You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.'

The cowboy replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.'

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.'

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

'Oh, no, everybody's just fine, ' he explains, 'It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking..'

'Hasn't affected my brothers though.'