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Amanda Martin-Shaver

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/3/2011 3:51:52 PM
pilot.jpg

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans.... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "are you a real pilot?"

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'



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Amanda Martin-Shaver

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/3/2011 4:22:47 PM
RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
(this was actually reported by a teacher)

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.

One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.

They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they
moved to a nice place where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so
they don't have to mow the grass anymore!

They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags
because they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it
fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don't
do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with
hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.
He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out,
and go cruising in their golf carts!
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.

Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.
The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for potluck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment
and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.
Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren
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Amanda Martin-Shaver

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/3/2011 5:35:19 PM
Career choice







ATT00008.jpg


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Amanda Martin-Shaver

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/3/2011 5:44:35 PM
Some Quickies...

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake
fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any
time....

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 pall bearers walking about
with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about
with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot !

I was at a cash point/ATM machine yesterday when a little old
lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television
was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A
spokesman for the channel said, "A claim was made that people in
Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact
that people in Abu Dhabi Do."

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I
went to our local pet shop and they were $70 ! Sod this, I
thought, I can get one much cheaper off the web.

6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

My son started a new job in Seoul last week. I thought it was a good
Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RACQ van parked . The
driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I
thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/5/2011 1:43:18 AM

Hello everyone. I LOVE this thead because you never know what is going to pop up next. :) Here is a cute one I got from a good friend today. Hope everyone enjoys it and I wish you all a wonderful week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js--6ZFeYUk&NR=1

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