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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/24/2011 3:31:00 PM

Happy Tuesday friends. You may have seen this one before but it always cracks me up. You know the saying "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned" and how sweet the revenge in this one. Brilliant! :)

CURTAIN RODS----PRICELESS
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the removers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked!!!
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........
And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
:)

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Kathleen Vanbeekom

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/24/2011 4:42:48 PM

Hilarious!

Someone once told me that an ex had put tomatoes under the rug in his livingroom and when he went home...squish squish squish...red stains seeped up thru the rug....and he also had an experience with fish under the floor mats of his car, by the same woman, and that man also told me he had urinated in a girlfriend's potted plants, that may have been a different girlfriend..some people probably bring on the worst from all their partners. LOL!

Another man told me his ex has taken the batteries from the TV remote when she left, and she also took the soap & shampoo.

What do men do to bring on this wrath? Is it just by "being men"? Probably.

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/26/2011 2:36:32 PM
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego ?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to", said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver got his truck fixed and was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!
There was the blonde walking down the street holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded.
"I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did", said the blonde, "but we had money left over, so now we're going to Sea World."
:)
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/27/2011 1:49:01 PM
Hi All,

End of the week and we all can say TGIF. :) I was negligent in not posting the first bi weekly News busters so today we have a double whammy full of news you shouldn't miss.

Shalom,

Peter

Topics in today's show:

-- Rapture?

-- Obama's fundraising troubles

-- Obama wants Israel to return to 1967 borders

-- Speaking at CIA, Obama uses 35 first person pronouns

-- Frisco to vote on circumcision ban

-- Arnold's illegitimate child

-- Stephen Hawking doesn't believe in Heaven or Hell

Starring: Jodi Miller
Director: Bruce Roundtower
Production: Dialog New Media

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1zMTm8Z2FI


Topics in today's show:

-- Debt ceiling debate

-- 70% say gas prices are hurting them

-- Mayor Emanuel wants a casino in Chicago

-- Border patrol agents stop two trucks carrying 513 illegals

-- UCLA study: men like housewives

-- 7-year-old caught with heroin

-- Playboy archives to go digital

-- Scientists find the key to obesity

Starring: Jodi Miller
Director: Bruce Roundtower
Production: Dialog New Media

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD0hXBytIF0

Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/27/2011 3:55:39 PM
Hi All,

Roger, Kathleen, Robert and Evelyn, thanks for all your contributions. I normally reply to each of you individually but this week I've been busy off line and simply didn't have time. Your jokes are hilarious and Kathleen your comments are ........... interesting to say the least. :) Keep em coming. :) :)

From time to time when I get some good music videos I share them with you all cos I figure if I enjoyed them you will too. Good music is pleasurable and always keeps me smiling. Kathleen posts in her threads many a time and it's much appreciated. There are enough schreechers around so let's hear some voices that can hold a tune for a change.

The first vocalist's ability to carry a note endlessly is amazing in my opinion. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Shalom,

Peter



Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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