So a lady goes into a dentists office, gets on a chair and spreads her legs far apart. The doctor is shocked to see this so he says: "Excuse me, miss, you must have the wrong place, this is a dentist's office." The lady answers back: "Well, didn't you put my husband's dentures in last week?" the lady says. The doctor nodded. "Well," the lady said, "now you have to get them out."

Hello Peter and friends, just a little Valentines Wish for all......


Loving Thoughts Of You

A Valentine Day Wish
from across the miles...
Because we're apart in distance
but never in thought.

Hi Peter and friends, you sure keep me entertained...lol...keep it coming.....


A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look
after and house her neighbors' male dog while they were away on
vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep them apart.

That night, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling
and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs, and found the dogs locked
together, in obvious pain, and unable to disengage as so frequently
happens when they mate. She was unable to separate them and was
perplexed as to what to.

Although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very
grumpy voice. She explained the problem to him. The vet said, "Hang
up the phone and place it alongside the dogs. I'll call you back, and
the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and
he'll be able to withdraw.

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"I sure think so," he replied, "It just worked on me!"

Awesome healthcare plan Evelyn.....lol....


Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.


You're walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife,and charges at you...

You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
This is all so confusing!
...........................................
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
.....................................

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!