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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/11/2011 2:46:06 PM

What a woman says...

This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!

What a man hears...


blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!

:)

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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/11/2011 11:19:03 PM
Hi All,
Gaby that preacher sure keeps his flock mesmerized. Bet he gets a big bonus at the end of the year. :)
Here's one that'll frighten you to death unless you're a mindless progressive liberal. :) :)
Shalom,
Peter



THE NIGHTMARE

In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm circumcised!

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my
driver's license photo and it was that same color, black.

I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.

But it's a wheelchair!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled! I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible! It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled!'

'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it's my boyfriend.

Just what I needed!!! I am a homosexual, and on top of that, with a Mexican boyfriend.

Oh, my God .... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and Oh, nooooo...I'm bald!!!

The telephone rings. it's my brother. He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died, the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job, you worthless piece of crap... Any job!'

Mom? Dad? Nooooo ... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are
black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan, but he doesn't get it.

Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand!!! With tears
in my eyes, I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town
full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.... Pacemaker??

Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a
drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one
hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me,

'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama?

Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed,
drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please,



Then my worst fear hit me,
please don't tell me I'm a f*ucking Democrat
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/11/2011 11:23:26 PM
Hi All,
This one's not a joke but some statistics for your general knowledge. I'd go so far as to say it's very interesting and quite an eye opener ........... at least for some it might be.
Shalom,
Peter

Doctors vs. Gun Owners

Doctors

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.

Now think about this:

Guns

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI.

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT

Almost everyone has at least one doctor.
This means you are over 900 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as a gun owner!!!
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/12/2011 4:48:03 AM

WOMAN'S A*SS SIZE STUDY


There is a new study about women and how they feel about their a*sses; the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their a*ss is too fat............
10% of women think their a*ss is too skinny.........

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world.


(I know you're laughing)


God Bless Everyone
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/12/2011 4:37:59 PM

Hey Peter,

I'm one of those mindless, progressive liberals with a sense of humor so your joke didn't offend me....here's one for you:

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil.

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School .
Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was
sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend
sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her
class..

A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and
Savior?'


But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny
came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell
back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to
Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped
up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll
break it in half!'

The nun fainted.


Len LaChapelle The Perfect Business. Free to join and no monthly fees. Earn a 5 figure income. http://bit.ly/x8vuim
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