Happy Monday Peter, Gaby, Len, Robert and friends. Here is one I got in my inbox this morning I thought was hilarious. :)
One day a man decided to retire...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no
other people, no supplies, nothing, only
bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on
the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows
up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you
come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed over from
the other side of the island where
I landed when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he notes. "You were really
lucky to have a row boat wash up
with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman.
"I made the boat out of some raw
material I found on the island.
The oars were whittled from gum
tree branches. I wove the bottom
from palm tree branches, and the sides
and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied
the woman. "On the south side of
the island, a very unusual stratum
of alluvial rock is exposed.
I found that if I fired it to a
certain temperature in my kiln,
it melted into ductile iron I used
that to make tools and used the
tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says.
So, after a short time of rowing, she
soon docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly
falls off the boat. Before him is a
long stone walk leading to an cabin
and tree house.
While the woman ties up the rowboat
with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says
casually,
"It's not much, but I call it home.
Sit down, please."
"Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," the man blurts out,
still dazed. "I can't take another drop of
coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman.
"I have a still. How would you like a
Tropical Spritz?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement,
the man accepts, and they sit down on her
couch to talk.
After they exchange their individual survival
stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to
slip into something more comfortable. Would
you like to take a shower and shave? There's
a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes
upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the
cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise
bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge
are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses.
"What's next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing
nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines,
each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly
of gardenias.
She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer
to him, "We've both been out here for many months.
You must have been lonely. There's something I'm
certain you feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for, right?" She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..."
he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
"You've built a Golf Course?"
:)