Hello Peter and everyone, you guys and gal are just awesomely funny. Thank you all.


It was a beautiful day and the pool was full but...when three young ladies came in, the lifeguard blew his whistle and made everyone get out.

The first young lady dived in and swam back and forth for awhile and when she got out she said: "Summer Olympics 2002 winner."

The second lady dived in and did a really good job of swimming, too. When she got out she said: "Summer Olympics winner 2005."

The crowd gasped when the third one dived in and made the others look like they did not even know how to swim. When she got out she said: "West Virginia prostitute and I work both sides of the river!!!!!!"

Perspective

Whoever said that laughter is the best medicine has obviously never had broken ribs.

Listening

At work, I've got the ear of the boss.

I'm still not convinced we should pay the ransom.

Divorce Court

I was in court the other day about divorcing my wife.

When the judge asked why i wanted to get a divorce, apparently "I bought a dishwasher" wasn't good enough.



I Could Use a Little Money

Dear Father,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

Are you lonesome tonight?.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfPgSzcu9RY&feature=related

Not too graceful......

I have no words for that one......