Hi Peter & friends,
This is to wish you all a happy weekend.
Hope our little friend here will allow us!
Enjoy

Top Sarcastic Police Comments
(sarcastic in the ol'days, common today!)

'You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’
‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They stretch after awhile.’
‘If you take your hands off the car , I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’
‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’
‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’
‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’
‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?’
‘Warning! You want a warning? OK., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.’
‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’
‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’
‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven .’
‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’
‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’
‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.’

Ouchhhh Sam....................

Quote:


Hi Peter & friends,
This is to wish you all a happy weekend.
Hope our little friend here will allow us!
Enjoy

This forum is really entertaining Peter.....LOL....

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest)...

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.