Menu



error This forum is not active, and new posts may not be made in it.
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
1/14/2011 2:58:22 AM
WHO SAYS MEN DON'T REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES????

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in
their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee
in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at
the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room,
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we
first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring,
so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun
in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send
you to jail for 20 years!!!"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...."I would have gotten out today."

:)



+0
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
1/14/2011 3:54:47 AM

Actual quotations from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
1/14/2011 5:18:13 AM
Hi Evelyn & Gaby,
I see you gals were busy while I was sleeping. Keep em coming, the jokes were hilarious.
Shalom,
Peter
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
1/14/2011 5:19:22 AM
Hello Friends,

This is a very funny graphic. Hmmmm, I wonder about the gender of the artist cos it does hurt. Can this be considered "sexually explicit"?

Shalom,

Peter

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
1/14/2011 3:43:22 PM

Happy Friday Peter and friends. I wonder how close to home this one will hit. :)


Cleaning Poem

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'

He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my work..
I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click, I did, and oops I found
A real absorbing site.
That I got SO way into it.
I was into it all night.<<Sigh>>

Nothing's changed except my mouse
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.


:)

+0


facebook
Like us on Facebook!