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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/5/2010 8:13:05 PM
Hi All,
Here's another joke that's totally politically incorrect. It has a John Wayne taste to it and it bings back fond memories.
Shalom,
Peter

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the passenger lounge in the Bozeman , Montana airport, while waiting for their respective flights..

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show, and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East ....

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette.


Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, 'At one time here... my people were many... but sadly, now we are few.'

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,
'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?'


The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . . .

'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, But I do believe it's a-comin'.'

Peter Fogel
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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/9/2010 3:27:59 PM
The Polish Divorce: A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete. I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one. I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof. What kind of proof?
SHE IS GOING TO POISON ME !
She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:

~~~Polish Remover~~~
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Jim
Jim Allen

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/10/2010 1:00:32 PM
Careful Robert, you are walking on thin ice here. You have to be more sensitive in your humor choice. It is okay to make Americans and Christians the brunt of jokes but giving equal time to the minorities may be going too far. You must be more sensitive in this PC world. ROFLMAO I still enjoy a good laugh. I agree with Reader's Digest "Laughter is the Best Medicine"

Quote:
The Polish Divorce: A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete. I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one. I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof. What kind of proof?
SHE IS GOING TO POISON ME !
She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:

~~~Polish Remover~~~

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/10/2010 2:52:48 PM
Hi Robert & Jim,
Political correctness is not something this forum suffers from .......... so far. :) We give equal opportunity to all here and always will.
Robert thanks for coming by since I haven't seen you around for a while.
Shalom,
Peter

Quote:
Careful Robert, you are walking on thin ice here. You have to be more sensitive in your humor choice. It is okay to make Americans and Christians the brunt of jokes but giving equal time to the minorities may be going too far. You must be more sensitive in this PC world. ROFLMAO I still enjoy a good laugh. I agree with Reader's Digest "Laughter is the Best Medicine"

Quote:
The Polish Divorce: A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete. I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one. I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof. What kind of proof?
SHE IS GOING TO POISON ME !
She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:

~~~Polish Remover~~~
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
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Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/10/2010 7:20:36 PM
Hi All,
As Jim hinted in his post it's only fair to give equal time to all minorities even if it's not politically correct. This one's d*amn funny IMHO. :)
Shalom,
Peter


Bacon Tree...

Two illegal Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, &there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees


Ees


Ees


Ees



Ees a ham bush...."


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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