Hi Peter,
Here's a few more I thought you all might like...
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A Pig Story
Barack Obama's limo is driving along a back country road on the way back to Washington from Camp David, when all of a sudden a pig jumps out in front of the limo. Obama, upset, tells the chauffeur to drive to the nearest farm house so that he can pay for the damages and apologize.
They arrive at the farm house up the road, and Obama tells the driver to go inside and tell the farmer and his wife what happened.
Two hours later, the driver emerges from the door with his clothes in disarray, a brown paper bag in his hand, and a huge smile across his face.
Obama wants to know what happened. The driver tells him "I went inside, they made me a nice steak, then the parents introduced me to their 24 year old daughter who was a finalist in the Miss America Pageant, they left us alone to have sex for an hour, and when I was finished, I came downstairs and the mother had this big bag of cookies for me.
Obama asks "What on earth did you tell them?"
The driver replies "I told them I was Barack Obama's driver, and that I had just run over the pig.
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Ever Wonder Why There's No American Jobs?
Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in
his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA).
Are you still wondering why you can't find a good paying job in.....AMERICA?
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American Technology
A group of doctors were at a convention in Switzerland. The topic of discussion was the new medical technology from their countries.
'In my country," a German doctor said, "medicine is so advanced, we can perform heart surgery on a person on Monday, and have him back to work in 2 weeks."
"That's nothing," a Japanese doctor said. "We can perform an appendectomy on a person on Tuesday, and have him back in work by Saturday."
"That's nothing!" said an American doctor. "We can take an idiot from Chicago, who's never worked an honest day's labor in his whole life, put him in the White House, and half the country is out of work by the next day!"
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Finally, since I often find myself these days, remembering how good we had it when all we had to worry about was Ole "Wild Bill" Clinton...
Clinton Orders A "Quickie"
Former President Bill Clinton and some of his Staff once went into a local diner up in D.C. for lunch.
As they read the menu, the waitress came over and asks Mr. Clinton, "Are you ready to order?"
Clinton smiled and replied, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life, I don't think that is such a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu."
As she walkd away, former Vice-President Gore leaned over to Clinton and said, "Bill, it's pronounced 'Quiche.'"
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Have A Terrific Week My Friends
Phil