Hello Peter & Friends,
As I mentioned over at my Memorial Day thread, I always smile when I am reminded of my Dad each Memorial Day. This man, the same man who had fought in WWII, "the war to end all wars", and the very same man who would stand rigidly at attention with just the slightest tear in his eye, whenever The Flag passed by in a parade, this man loved to laugh. I used to love the sound of his laughter and I would prefer to rememmber him that way, on this Memorial Day. I like to think that he would have enjoyed the following cute jokes & stories about the Military.
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Always remember, if the enemy is within range, so are you.
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| This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95. |
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Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision. -
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. -
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. -
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. -
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. -
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call. |
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While my son was on board the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd."
The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We are hunting submawenes."
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Q. How many marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. 5 -- four take the corners of the house, lift it with awesome Marine power, turn it clockwise, while the fifth Marine holds the light bulb and turns it counter clockwise..
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Please remember, a Purple Heart really only proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan,
stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
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And my personal favorite...
A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Marine is better than ten taliban". The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Marine is better than one hundred taliban". Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The voice calls out again "One Marine is better than one thousand Taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them.
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Wishing You A Happy & Safe memorial Day,
Phil