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Mary Evelyn 23244 5352 Strawb...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 5/17/2010 12:38:45 PM
	Bubba decided to visit Colorado to do something he could never do back home ... snow skiing. Unfortunately for Bubba, before he was even able to make it up the hill, he was knocked unconscious by the chairlift. As soon as he could, he called his insurance company from the hospital only to be told that they were refusing to cover his injury. "What do you mean?!?" Bubba screamed. "Why wouldn't you cover an injury like this?" "You got hit in the head with a chairlift," the insurance rep. explained. "That makes you a moron ... and we consider that to be a pre-existing condition." -

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Mary Evelyn 23244 5352 Strawb...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 5/17/2010 12:40:11 PM
	Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The Coroner calls the Police Inspector to tell him what happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds in the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the enormous smile." The Inspector asks, "What about the third body?" "Ah," says the Coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob, the redneck from Alabama, 30, struck by lightning while bass fishing." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken." :)

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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 5/19/2010 3:41:32 PM
	Hi All, Here's one d*amn good description of B Hussein O-Bowma and his goon squad. Meet O-bowma and the seven dorks. Shalom, Peter
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 5/19/2010 3:50:35 PM
	Hi All, It'll happen to all of us sooner or later so we may as well accept it with grace and a smile. :) Shalom, Peter *Observations on Growing Older* *~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them* *...but your grandchildren are perfect!* *~Going out is good.* *Coming home is better!* *~When people say you look "Great"...* *they add "for your age!"* *~When you needed the discount, you paid full price.* *Now you get discounts on everything...* *movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.* *~You forget names ... but it's OK* *because other people* *forgot* *they even knew you!!!* *~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose* *is now 15 and you have a better chance* *of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.* *~You realize you're never going* *to be really good at anything .... especially golf.* *~Your spouse is counting on you* *to remember things you don't remember.* *~The things you used to care to do,* *you no longer care to do,* *but you really do care that you* *don't care to do them anymore.* *~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair* *with the TV blaring than he does in bed.* *It's called his "pre-sleep".* *~Remember when your mother said,* *"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?* *Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!* *~You used to say,* *"I hope my kids GET married...* *Now, "I hope they STAY married!"* *~You miss the days when everything worked* *with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..* *~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ...* *were unheard of, and a mouse was something* *that made you climb on a table.* *~You used to use more 4 letter words ...* *"what?"..."when?"... ???* *~Now that you can afford* *expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.* *~Your husband has a night out with the guys,* *but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.* *~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.* *~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!* *~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.* *~Everybody whispers.* *~Now that your husband has retired ...* *you'd give anything if he'd find a job!* *~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ...* *2 of which you will never wear.* *~~~~But old is good in some things:* *old songs,* *old movies,* *And best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!*
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Mary Evelyn 23244 5352 Strawb...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 5/20/2010 2:47:46 PM
	Divorce vs Murder A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!' The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'You didn't tell me you had a prescription.' ------- I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me. -- Anonymous ------- Remember be good to yourself and take one day at a time "He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." Raymond Hull. :)

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