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Helen 801 1370 Burnaby	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 3/16/2010 8:27:02 AM
	Hi Peter and Phil and everybody Thanks Peter for the Cadillac joke. Funny! And Phil I liked your Urine or You're Out expose. I am going to take these to send them to my list. I liked your Archie clip, too. What a great actor Carroll was! or maybe he was like that and it was a natural for him. A person on my list actually wrote me and said they didn't like Bunker because he insulted his wife, his family and women, etc. Some people can't take a joke. Have a great and thankful day, everyone! Helen
	Spend $4 and get back $10 every time you spend. Contact me (Helen) at this email »»» zhebee@yahoo.com
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Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 3/16/2010 8:51:18 AM
	Hi Helen, Archie Bunker insulted everybody and that was the great parody and satire. He certainly was a great actor but so was his wife. She played the part so well and was a perfect partner to Archie. Shalom, Peter
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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Mary Evelyn 23244 5352 Strawb...	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 3/16/2010 3:16:05 PM
	Hello Peter and friends. Hope your day is going great. :) Words for Women to Live By!! 1. Aspire to be Barbie - the *** has everything. 2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color. 3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila. 4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls! 5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days). 6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it. 7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality. 8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here. 9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. 10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny. 11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka. 12. Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bull**! 13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood a re the hardest. 14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble. 15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - 'Good friends are like stars......... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there' 'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'. Now smile and send to any girl wasting time at work, suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from life , that might need a reason to smile!

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Mary Evelyn

23244

5352

Strawb...

RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week

3/16/2010 3:19:42 PM

A Cynics Guide to Life

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and...

Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone.

If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.

If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone.
That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.

Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the "whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the- fridge-is" group.

Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.

ust remember... You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car!

When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try to remember that all men are brothers... and just give them a noogie or an Indian burn.

This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.

It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel...it's cheaper than plastic surgery.

This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.

Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up.

Peter 1470 7259 Lod	RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week 3/16/2010 8:46:54 PM
	Hey Evelyn, Good to see you again. Loved your 2 contributions. The following are all great but the Pelosi one is funny and damn frightening. Shalom, Peter Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it! They walk amongst us!* -------------------------------------- One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted.... 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?' They walk among us!* ------------------------------------------ While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime. She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....' They Walk Among Us! ------------------------------------------ My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think I'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. They Walk Among Us! ---------------------------------------- My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car boot. They Walk Among Us! ------------------------------------------ I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!" I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.... They Walk Among Us ! ----------------------------------------- I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and. went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worrybecause she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.) They Walk Among Us! ----------------------------------------------- While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. They Walk Among Us! And last, but not least: Dumb as a box of Rocks A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY: A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease. 'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?' 'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.' 'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi. Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'' Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.' Nancy Pelosi is Speaker of the House
	Peter Fogel Babylon 7
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