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Venerina Conti

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Re: How far are you prepared to go in the name of love?
11/24/2006 6:46:09 PM

Hello Deborah ...

It is true ... one form of love is when you put others before yourself ...

Thank you and have a wonderful weekend



Venerina Conti

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Re: How far are you prepared to go in the name of love?
11/24/2006 6:57:09 PM

Hello Susan

Thank you for such a beautiful post ... You said exactly some of what I was trying to say to Geketa ...

I agree totally that love does come in many forms and is divided between things and people in different ways ... according to an individual's own perspective, beliefs and ways of living and sharing ...

I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts ... thank you

Have a wonderful weekend and hugs



Geketa Holman

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Re: How far are you prepared to go in the name of love?
11/24/2006 10:18:18 PM

Hi my dear friend  V..

ok.. you onto your next questions

1) What dictates how far we need to go?each situation would dictate a different response ..

2) When it's not a person .... then when should we quit? and would that quitting be deemed failure? it it's not a person that would also be dictated by the details. you should quit when you have had enough and see no end it sight . ie an animal or cause .. but not with people.
quitting would not in my opinion ever be deemed as failure trying is at least taking an action. to do nothing would be failure but quiting no .. at least you tried any effort is better than none.

3) Who and what defines how far we should go?... ie.  what do we measure it by? and how can we compare it?

 the who would in my book would be  defined as any human being and the how far would be ,whatever it takes to get the desired results. I can't speak for anyone, but myself   I would measure it by life is precious and viable and worth saving . There is no comparison for life each one is valuable .

sorry the answers are just a vague as the questions .. but I did love each one of the ..

Blessings my dear one,


Hear, O Israel the L-rd our G-d,the L-rd is one
Jenny SJ

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Re: How far are you prepared to go in the name of love?
11/25/2006 1:10:13 PM
Hello Venerina,

I have read some very erudite comments on this forum, and some of them make me feel quite inarticulate.  However I would like to add the only intelligent comment that I can make that I feel would add to the posts already made. 

Love, as whatever level you choose to look at it and in whatever form it is in is always more than words.

And dedicated to  all the romantics amongst you,  here is a song .

More than Words

Have a wonderful weekend everyone


Re: How far are you prepared to go in the name of love?
11/27/2006 9:08:59 AM


Is love the same as compassion?

Because I have compassion for pretty much everyone though I'm not sure I would call it love.

I would help them if they ask me.  If they truly NEED.

When I worked at the bakery (which has been closed a while now) part of my job, though NOT in the job description was listening to the customers because even though you are serving them baked goods and lunch or as I do now in a convenience store coffee and cigarettes, sometimes what you are serving people who have a need is your ear and your compassion for their stories.

When I worked at the local dollar store their policy was that we don't socialize with our customers.  I think their policy is a mistake because some customers NEED to know you are listening and you CARE about their needs. 

Those customers return!!

Sometimes if I feel they feel especially bad I want to cry for them. The compassion I have for the sad parts of people wells up inside me and threatens to overwhelm. But, then you just get on with the day to day living.

How far would I go for these people whom I hold all this compassion for? If it is just a type of love I am feeling? I don't know.

I am an all or nothing type person.  I have never learned to compartmentalize my feelings.  I am emotion driven and just can't figure out how to turn them off.  Because I do have so much compassion and a giving heart sometimes choosing to give can hurt. DEEPLY.  I find it hard to let that go and so I stand off. And, I very likely lose a lot by doing so.

In the relationships that mean everything to me?

My family... my friends...

Once I've decided I like you that's pretty much it.  I don't make judgements.  I may not always like or agree with your choices but as long as you continue to treat me with respect it won't matter.  I will do whatever you need.

Well, I wouldn't kill someone, I wouldn't lie for you, I wouldn't compromise my own dignity or self-respect.  So, no I ain't gonna help ya hide the body either!

BUT, I would die for you.  I would put myself in front of the pain if it would save you feeling it.  I'm not violent... I don't fight (physically)...I am the least confrontational person you could meet but, I would get the shit kicked out of me if it would give you two extra minutes to get away. I would STAND.

I wouldn't surround myself with people who did not deserve for me to have their back if they need it.

I'm pretty sure I would get violent about abused women and children were I to come across it because those subjects make me VERY angry. I understand from personal experience (abused woman) how detrimental to your well being these kinds of things are.  CHILDREN are precious and there are so many ways in which they can be damaged in little ways every day by a word or thoughtlessness.  What abusers do to them is just unspeakable and should NEVER be shoved under a rug nor EVER blamed on them.

As for loving work and not knowing when to quit...

Hmmm....I think maybe it can be a fine line between love and self-fulfillment and obsession.  Sometimes whatever the pay off may be some people just can't figure out when enough is enough.  I don't know because I have never been a high achieving person.  I work in convenience stores as a cashier for goodness sake.  I work for a paycheck and the only thing fulfilling about it is that I know my boss loves me and is happy with the job that I do.

I also know that the regular customers are happy with my efforts as well.

I only work a four hour shift every other week...sometimes more...and sometimes when they see me at work they are like...where have you been?  I thought you weren't here anymore?  The fact they are asking says they have noticed me and appreciate me and wondered where I got to...YAHOO!

I love it when I'm a bright point for two seconds in someone day!


I also have my own business now (which is why I am here!) and I spend a lot of time on the computer working on web pages, listings, etc.

I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn but, part of the choice to do this was FOR the experience because I am finding it self validating.  I CAN do something!!  I sure as hell can make really pretty web pages at the very least (and that stuff is ALL self taught by the way!) So I feel good about that and that is part of the reason...which I assume is part of the reason people do the careers they do...they are good at it and it makes them feel good about themselves!  BUT, I know you CAN get completely obsessed with it and forget the really important things...time with your family...time with your kids...time with your significant other.  Sometimes I start something and I just can't let it go until I get it fixed or figured out and no matter what they want or need I'm obsessed with what I'm doing and cannot let it go.  I'm pretty sure we can ALL get that way.

We just need to remember...the pages...the work will be there tomorrow.  It is possible those people won't.  Give them the time!!

Sometimes easier said or intellectualized than done!!


Dawn Bissonette

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